I delight in spiritual gifts.

quote on the wall

sacred gifts exhibit

byu moa

january 2014

spiritual gifts.

sacred gifts.

simple gifts. 

of all the gifts that can be given, these gifts are most meaningful. both for ourselves and for others. 

something that was said this weekend at women's conference has really stuck with me (paraphrasing):

"know the gifts you've been given for they are the gifts given to bless your life 

and the lives of those around you."

I delight in letting things go.

shadow proves the sunshine

                                                                                                                           sacred grove, palmyra new york

                                                                               july 2010

I'm really good at holding on to things. Rocks I picked up in Montana 20 years ago, a set of stamps I bought when I was 8, notes from friends I received in the first grade, pennies I sent through the penny smasher in Yellowstone when I was some single digit age. If I've been holding on to that stuff for so long, you can only imagine all the things I've held onto since then. You've got the picture right?

Well, this week I had a break through. Okay, maybe it was only half a breakthrough, probably not even that. I realized that it takes me such a fraction of the time that it used to to let hurtful things go. Events of the week played out a perfect stage for disappointment. I always have high hopes that someone, anyone will step up to the plate and that things will 'turn out different this time.' I am always disappointed and this time proved no different. Don't get me wrong, somehow I convince myself to be extremely optimistic about the situation every time but alas things turn out being all too familiar and again I am crushed. But I'm crushed a lot less permanently and resiliency springs into play. Really, it's forgiveness first and resiliency second. We all make choices and we can all learn from the choices we make and we can choose to make better choices in the future. Of this I am certain and continually hopeful.

If I haven't lost you, well then consider yourself lucky because I might have lost myself at this point. You see, I see no good in playing out specifics because a time will come when I'll read this and go...hum I wonder what that situation was? I don't know but I'm glad I learned something from it. If the specifics were here, then I'd read it and be hurt all over again. I know myself that well.

Back to the resiliency concept for a moment though...it's a word we don't hear too often. And yet, this week I've heard it twice. In the Ensign Magazine that arrived today there was an article on Raising Resilient Children, and what great suggestions and experiences are shared to help facilitate it and if not facilitate at least get us starting to think about it. The other moment I heard about it was in a research study whose population was families of children with autism and down syndrome. It was a study comparing parents of both.  I'm not a parent of both but a sibling of both. As I read the research article, it struck a cord with me. We are forced to either crumble or be resilient, especially in times of trial. I'm not sure how my parents taught me to be resilient but they did and I'm currently working to figure out how they did such a good job. Probably because they themselves are the best examples of this term. The ability to spring back into shape after bending and compression...that's resiliency and that is a skill we all need.

And so, here's to letting things go. Here's to saying to ourselves choose the higher road, forgive and move forward. Act, don't just be acted upon. Here's to brighter tomorrows that are full of hope. Really though, it comes back to this..."All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ." (quoted from Preach My Gospel: A Guide to Missionary Service). That's really the source of being able to get through tough times, whatever they may be. Its also the source that enables me and helps me to let go of things that really don't matter and focus on the things that really do.

winning the hearts

institute night! you know what that means...lots of things rolling around in this head of mine.

favorite quote: "to state it again, even thought the scriptures contain no words to answer our specific personal question, a prayerful study of the scriptures will help us obtain such answers. This is because scripture study will  make us susceptible to the inspiration of the holy ghost." --dallin h. oaks, studying the scriptures, byu-hawaii campus, march 14, 1986, p. 19

favorite scripture/new theme of my life: alma 17: 29. i had a special love for alma 17 ever since my mission and the morning we sat in front of the huge painting of 'go ye therefore' in the main hall of the mtc. but the end of alma 17 just always seemed violent, cutting off arms and all...well i'm giving ammon's story another look. :) j/k. ammon, who is the servant of king lamoni sees the lamanites scatter his flocks. his fellow servants say, ah the king will slay us and they start to cry. and what does ammon do? his heart swells for joy. he saw not a tragic event but a glorious opportunity to win the hearts of his fellow servants in hopes he can lead them to believe him. he saw opportunity.

there are many attributes i could delve into here, but here is just one that strikes me particularly hard. he isn't concerned about his own heart, he is seeking to win hearts, the hearts of others.

a few months ago, getting myself to church was really hard. not to say that i didn't go or that i didn't want to go, but i guess i lost perspective because all i could see was me. i felt lonely, and alone. i felt like i could go through the whole day and no one would necessarily sit by me or talk to me or even really notice if i was there or not and at that, really care.

i give you that example because i think its the opposite of this "winning hearts" concept. someone who wants to win the hearts of others is not interested in the welfare of their own heart, they are seeking to others hearts. its being concerned for someone else, saying hello, caring more about making others feel loved, appreciated, noticed and cared for. the miracle is...your heart benefits as well.

there are many other stories that could be told, other parallels that can be drawn; and this is just my beginning. hello new theme: "win the hearts"

how much can one heart take?

joseph and emma statue

temple square, salt lake city, utah

fall 2010

A few Sundays ago, I had the opportunity to teach sunday school. Part of the plan was to discuss how Joseph Smith was prepared to receive and translate the gold plates to what we now know and read as The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. The week prior we had also discussed how Joseph was prepared in his youth to be the Prophet of the Restoration.

I have a testimony of the fact that God has a history of preparing prophets in their youth to be great leaders. I think that Heavenly Father prepares all each of us in our youth for the things that will come in our lives; I only wonder how many there are that don't heed that call or respond to that preparation. Needless to say, this got me to thinking of other preparations.

For example, how was Emma Smith prepared to be the wife of a Prophet? I'm sure she was; although I just don't know that much about her life to be honest. To endure every measure of pain and heartache she endured, she was surely fit for the task although at times I'm sure she didn't think so. Certainly, my heart aches every time I think of the worry, stress, heartache and heartbreak she endured and did so with faith.

Where am I going with this? Well I just wonder if we see or try to see how God prepares us for things in our lives? Do we recognize that we have been prepared when call/s come? When trials come? When the unexpected happens? Can we look back on our lives and find something and say, I'm so grateful for that experience, or that experience really taught me this principle that I really need right now.

The life course looks different for each one of us but one thing is sure, God, our loving Heavenly Father has a plan for all his children. You and I included.  So then certainly he must prepare us for what he knows lies in our path. The trick is recognizing those experience, recognizing those attributes we've had the opportunity to develop, and those gifts and knowledge with which you have been blessed with to help you along the way.

How much can one heart take? I certainly don't know. But I know He will be there to lighten any load that is placed upon us. He's told us that.

As a friend of mine once told me in a time personal crisis, isn't it a blessing that Heavenly Father has told us that he won't give us more than we can handle? I had never thought of it like that before. But there was such clarity in that statement. God won't give us anything more than we can handle. He knows that and he could have just assumed that we should know that too by virtue of us being his children whom he loves. But no, he told us he shared with us and he has illustrated in the scriptures time and time again how he lives up to this principle.

That is a blessing.

_______________
he heals the heavy laden, elder dallin h. oaks, october 2006
the atonement covers all pain, elder kent richards, april 2011
never had an ordinary day-love
matthew 11:28
john 16:33
alma 7:11
mosiah 24:14--my favorite illustration that God is with us in our trials and that he will lighten our load
1 corinthians 10:13

I delight in the spontaneous.

Did a weekend just happen because I think I missed it. This week was work x5 days then a packed day of play! Craig and I headed south after LEND on Friday and landed in happy valley. Seeing my sweet grandpa is my favorite! Friday night I ate delicious food (thank goodness someone cancelled their reservation at the black sheep cafe) with my favorite aussie and mission companion. It was delightful to catch up on life and hear about the love of her life. We topped off the night at the creamery. I get so nostalgic on that campus. It seems like my BYU experience was a whole other life ago.

Saturday morning I woke up on my favorite couch in the world. The special of the morning was waffles which I only ever have at Grandpa's because he is the only one who has a belgian waffle maker. They were delicious as always. Then the three of us set out on an adventure. First to the barber, then around BYU, the cemetery, springville, salem and finally payson. The temple is looking SO much more like a temple now! It was fantastic! On the way back, we drove past the "provo city temple" (I think that's what they're calling it). So crazy as the entire structure is jacked up while they dig two stories below. I know right? 

The afternoon brought a drive to Eagle Mountain visiting my best friend from my undergrad days and lifesaver time and time again. She has the sweetest children (which is to be anticipated considering she is so sweet and constantly Christ-like herself) and we had a delightful time decorating sugar cookies. My only regrets are that I couldn't stay longer and that I didn't take any pictures. The most precious memory I walked away with is the one of her sweetest little one falling asleep with his head snuggled on my chest. Precious and so so delightful!

Then the whirlwind began...Draper and visiting a dear old roommate and friend and meeting her adorable baby! My friends have the cutest children! Anyway, it was so wonderful to catch up and go to another roommates bridal shower. It is so fantastic to get to hang out with people who you just love and who you just have a history with that makes you go...wow...being friends with you has been awesome! I love love love it. The night ended with a drive back to Provo, seeing my cousins, grandpa, picking up Craig and heading north with a diet coke in hand. 

I'm sad the weekend is over and I've only really recounted Saturday, mostly because I never want to forget it and because I really delighted in all of it. On the drive home, I enjoyed listening to general conference addresses from October 2010 from President Monson, President Eyring and President Uctodorf. The line that stuck me the most was this, "...diligently doing the things that matter most will lead us to the Savior of the World..." (President Uctodorf). One of the things that matters the most to me is my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It shapes my life and I pray it continues to define and refine my life. 

-----

joseph smith: the prophet of the restoration

of things that matter most, president uctdorf, october 2010 general conference

trust in god, then go and do, president eyring, october 2010 general conference

the divine gift of gratitude, president monson, october 2010 general conference

acts 2:17

The perfect balance and bouncing back.

It has been an interesting weekend here.  You know those times where you make a plan and then none of it happens?  That's been my weekend.  


But as in everything, there are lessons to be learned.  Bouncing back and moving on and up is so important and crucial.


One of the greatest lessons and greatest delights that I want to share is something I learned last week at church.  We had some fantastic talks about charity.  Charity is something I'm always striving for and subsequently falling short of.  Defined, charity is the pure love of Christ.  This is something I've always been taught and have known and have been striving for.  But something I'd never really thought of is how critical the role of forgiveness is in the whole 'becoming charitable' process.  


And so in the bouncing back process...enter forgiveness.  So grateful to know these principles and how beautifully they all work together for good.


*LB, the perfect balance to life.

a trustworthy gut

My mom could quote me on a statement I made just a little over a week ago that went something like this: it's interesting that a lot of the people I work with could have gotten help earlier in their neurological event had they acted on their suspicions that all was not right.

I am now quoting myself, on lesser of a severe scale than having a neurological event however, if I had recognized the signs that I myself was sick and had gone to the doctor a week ago, the last 3 weeks of my life could have been a lot more....peaceful.

Now I sit here thinking...why don't I trust my gut more reliably to actually act on what I feel? I've talked previously about never suppressing a generous thought and although I know it is something I should always do, I still question myself at times. And sometimes, I don't even let myself think about it long enough to act on it, dismissing the thought before the possibility of acting on such a thought.

Tonight at institute, we talked about the second coming of Christ. At the end, Brother Clayton asked each of us to identify something we would work to change to be more prepared. Too many things came to mind, but the overriding thought that I think could positively influence a lot of different areas is: to become quick to observe and act accordingly. While I appreciate my mind, it talks my heart out of doing a lot of things.

I'm grateful to be a work in progress. The keywords being work and progress.

I delight in sincere love.

Is there really a love more deep than the love between a man and his dog? Humor me a little on this one will you?

I'm not a Valentine's day hater, but I'm certainly not "into" it in the way a lot of other people are. To me, at this point in my life, Valentine's day is just another "day in the life of Erin and today will prove nothing different than any other day at the surface level."

However, I love any reason to celebrate. Valentines day at my house is celebrated by having pizza for dinner, I kid not. This year, I did attempt to get a little crafty and so I something extra to show those I love how much I love them.

But all that aside, these days I spend most of my time at the hospital for my externship. I have recently come to appreciate a new and deepened sense of the term love.

It is defined differently by different people. It can be manifest regardless of relation to a person. It can be evidenced by word, kind deeds, generous thoughts or in a fleeting passing glance. Love is not solely in saying "I love you" or in getting chocolates, affections or flowers; no, love is more. Love more! Love is deeper than just the here and now, it is a heart felt regard for another person, their character, their being and their soul.

Today I am thankful to be loved and to have the ability to love. I am reminded of the "homecoming" talk I gave when I got home from my mission. It was framed around Elder Bednar's talk, "More Diligent and Concerned at Home." Here is an excerpt from His talk:

Express Love—and Show It

We can begin to become more diligent and concerned at home by telling the people we love that we love them. Such expressions do not need to be flowery or lengthy. We simply should sincerely and frequently express love.

Brethren and sisters, when was the last time you took your eternal companion in your arms and said, “I love you”? Parents, when was the last time you sincerely expressed love to your children? Children, when was the last time you told your parents that you love them?

Each of us already knows we should tell the people we love that we love them. But what we know is not always reflected in what we do. We may feel unsure, awkward, or even perhaps a bit embarrassed.

As disciples of the Savior, we are not merely striving to know more; rather, we need to consistently do more of what we know is right and become better.

We should remember that saying “I love you” is only a beginning. We need to say it, we need to mean it, and most importantly we need consistently to show it. We need to both express and demonstrate love.

President Thomas S. Monson recently counseled: “Often we assume that [the people around us] must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. … We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us” (“Finding Joy in the Journey,” Liahona and Ensign,Nov. 2008, 86).

Feeling the security and constancy of love from a spouse, a parent, or a child is a rich blessing. Such love nurtures and sustains faith in God. Such love is a source of strength and casts out fear (see 1 John 4:18). Such love is the desire of every human soul. We can become more diligent and concerned at home as we express love—and consistently show it.

That second to last line is one of my favorites..."Such love is the desire of every human soul." We all want love in our life and that's a good thing! Let us love more freely, openly, and let others know how much they mean to us everyday, not just today.

If you're in need of a "funny valentine" song...well here you go.

Who are you gonna be?

Choices. Life is made of them. We make thousands of them every day. Each choice shapes our world and the experience we have here in a place called mortality.

Change. Another one of my favorite c words. I'm so grateful for change. The ability to change and to choose and accept change is one of the greatest blessings in life.

Commitment. This one became a buzz word of sorts for me as a missionary. It all started with a BYU article that changed my mission and changed my life for the better.

With these three c words in mind (the unplanned alliteration sneaks onto the scene) I pose the question, "who are you gonna be?" Life is not a game of chance, it is a game of choice and the choice is ours. (thank you Liz Craig) Tonight as I sat in a room with people I love dearly, I thought of the choices I had and as the spirit touched my heart, I knew that my choice was the same one it had always been because it was still the same choice and commitment I'd made a long time ago. I was also grateful for the ability to change because the people in the room were not the same as I'd known them so long ago, they'd changed, and gratefully, so had I. Later as I was reading an e-mail from a friend whom I also love dearly but had been out of touch with for some time, my heart ached as I read of the twists in her road. My heart was also enlivened however by the hope of her spirit and the choices she recognized she had and the chance/blessing she had to commit to good things and change for the better.

And so, in essence, I delight in the opportunity of another day. For the choice to change and to commit. Life is a blessing, its a gift we've been given. Let's make it a great day.

I delight in a new tradition.

image

In my last post, I mentioned I was going to start sharing Christmas traditions with you.

Today I started a new tradition for my family. In case you don't know this already, I have the best family ever.

One of the amazing characteristics of the best sibilings ever is their ability to have a constant child-like ability to believe in all things good and hopeful. And as such, as any good girl and any good boy knows, it is the season for Santa to send his elves out to check on all the children of the world.

This year a real elf showed up. His name is yet to be determined but he's already on the loose in our house. That's right, he's watching all the good kind deeds done by those who live under this roof, but he also has his eye out for those 'not so nice' things that may happen including but not limited to:

• looking at Christmas presents before Christmas
• saying not nice words
• pretending not to hear the words of other family members

Needless to say, the elf has his work cut out for himself this year.

***If you have not seen this book, check it out asap. Google it. Search it on pinterest. And whatever you do, start this quality and wholesome tradition straight away.

I delight in a selfless example.

I am blessed with the best siblings in the world. They are two people who without guile and who radiate love. I am truly blessed to be loved by them and to love them whole-heartedly. This weekend, we had the chance to spend some quality time together on one of Craig's (but really 'the families' rides). I love the conversations, laughs, and smiles that happen on these rides. As I contemplate the changes ahead (can we tell that I really have to talk myself into 'being okay with' change?) mainly moving home in the upcoming months--I get so excited to see them every single day.

I delight in a new day.

I'm stubborn by nature. I'm not saying I am permanently stubborn--its just the characteristic that always wants to come out first. This is no surprise to my family as they've been dealing with my stubborn-ness since birth.

Sometimes I resent my mothers favorite saying (regardless of how true it really is):

"Tomorrow is a new day." She likes to remind me of this when I'm frustrated, tired, upset, fill in negative emotion here--its her solution is a new day.

In my heart I give this statement more validity than what comes out of my mouth in response to my mother. In fact, I believe on countless occasions I've passed this advice on to others.

A fresh start, a clean slate--we all need it. Enter the Atonement of Jesus Christ which requires an enlightened perspective on our part. We must believe that better days are to come, that happiness is a choice and that we don't have to get stuck in the same sticky/frustrating messes everyday because of our ability to choose.

Back to Mom, today is the start of her birthday week. This week I'm going to try my hardest to really think about all the lessons my mom has taught me and share them here. For my mom to find strength in the fact that 'tomorrow is a new day' is a big deal because while my life is very transitory and changes in big ways each semester and in effect each day as different deadlines and specific stressors come and go, her life largely stays the same.

Being a mom is a full-time job but her calling is compounded by two children that depend on her entirely for their transportation, shopping, cooking, cleaning, healthcare (enter shot-giving/blood check and gluten-free meal making) and entertainment...the list goes on and on.

She takes it in stride, finds joy in the journey and doesn't seek the attention (positive or negative) from others who have no idea what her daily life is like but feel the need to make uninformed comments and reflections on what life must be like for her.

And so, today I delight that its a new day. And I'm grateful for a mother who taught me this valuable lesson in so many ways.

On this beautiful Sunday morning it reminds me of the line from a hymn: "There is hope smiling brightly before us; and we know that deliverance is nigh."

I delight in believing.

Sometimes its hard to believe in the possibilities. But as this song puts it, "you gotta find someway, somehow to believe." And as you do, things will 'work together for you good.'

I delight in the 3 special words.

At my house...we believe in these words. I love you. We say them often.

I've always very much appreciated living in a home where I love you is said on a daily basis. And if you spend the day with Christin, its said about 20 times (minimal). We say I love you in the serious times, the humorous times and sometimes completely out of the blue. We say it when someone needs to hear it and when they already know. Its said in the morning, afternoon, and evening before going to bed. The words I love you bring happiness to my heart and warmth to my soul.

As I reflect on life, I'm grateful to have these words in my vocabulary and to feel comfortable in telling people that I love them. Roommates, friends, extended family, its all the same. Being able to identify emotions and then convey them is a necessary ability in building happy and healthy relationships.

Where is this coming from? Yesterday after attending Music and the Spoken word, I took a stroll through a quilt exhibit at the Church History Museum. The picture above was taken there. Someone had constructed it from magnetic blocks meant for the children to play. It warmed my heart. I thought to myself...those words make me happy. Those words make me delight every single day of my life. My life is delightful because I am able to tell others how much they mean to me and I am blessed daily by people who share their feelings with me.

I delight in the power of one.

The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.

Last night I had the incredible experience and privilege of attending a performance by the special needs mutual. They are a group of youth/adult members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter -Day Saints with special needs who join together each week. Every year they put on a presentation and invite everyone to attend. This year's presentation was "Be Strong in our Standards." It was based around the church's pamphlet and program entitled "For the Strength of Youth." My commitment to the foundational principles of the gospel were strengthened as I felt the testimonies and love of each participant in the program as they performed in skits, sang songs, and recited their lines.

My Mom worked extra hard with Christin to help her learn her lines. "Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness." Christin can't read but Mom had worked hard with her on being able to recognize and sound out the initial phonemes (sounds) of each of the words. She did a great job and was SO proud of herself. They all performed to the best of their abilities. I love the billboard put up by Workers Compensation (I think)...'Don't dis-ABILITY.' While they may not have the same abilities or looks as you or I, they have so many abilities that reach beyond what the world values. Smiles that warm the soul. Testimonies that touch the deepest part of the heart. They live lives that teach and testify the eternal truth that 'Charity Never Faileth.'

A few weeks ago, I sat at my homeward in Sunday School. It was an unusual occasion because a) I rarely/never go to my homeward when I'm home on Sundays. I usually go with Craig to the singles ward. And b) My parents had been invited to attend a different Sunday School class so it was just Christin and I from our family in Gospel Doctrine. The lesson was on Christ-like attributes and in essence child-like attributes. The teacher began class by having members of the class suggest attributes that children have...kind, obedient, loving, trusting etc etc. As they told of different experiences I couldn't help but watch Christin color, unaware of the conversation going on around her. I couldn't help but think...they're speaking of her, she's right here. The Christ-like attributes are so well personified and embodied in countless precious souls, children with special needs, children with special gifts.

Over the course of my life, I have had people tell me on a number of occasions that they could 'never have a child with a disability' or that they just 'wouldn't be able to handle this or that.' Almost every time I interrupt them and inform them that they could if they had to and that its not bad, its just different. Life often goes differently than we plan but it never means its bad, just that its different. Everyone has the power to change the world: in every deed they do, in every word they say. You have just as much power as the next person. Make it work together for your good...that's the key to success. That's the power of one.

Mosiah 3:19For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

I delight in learning from LB.

Christin and Justin at Graduation

Yesterday was the first day of soccer. 8 special kids come together every spring to play soccer together. I was privileged enough to play with them for the 'season opener'! At the end of the game one of the parents asked if our family would take his two boys home. Well, the one, Justin had sat down on the curb and wasn't about to move. 3 different parents, all of whom he was well acquainted with were trying to convince him that it was okay to ride home with us, after all he'd done it before. Finally my Dad said, Christin will get him. So along come Christin and I down the hill. I watch Christin walk over, crouch down by Justin, put his arm around him and said, "Justin, its me, Christin, come get in car. Come on." She keeps her arm around his shoulders, he stands up and they walk right to the car together. Once in the car, she helped him put on his seatbelt like the most caring, compassionate person in the world. That's just the way she is.

I think the rest of us stood there with amazement and appreciation. Appreciation for the individual gifts we've each been endowed with. Particularly for the special gifts that these precious special children have been given. Appreciation for the examples of Christ-like souls who we love and are loved by each day.

I delight in kindness.

Today things went from bad to worse. My to-do list was doubled in a matter of a few hours and I developed this weirdy cough. I didn't feel well when I woke up this morning but then its gotten progressively worse throughout the day so much so that I willingly took Robitussin (the medicine I most despise--for its taste, it actually does work). And so now, I'm home, trying to get everything done and attempt not to cough and sleep ( like I so want to do).

The delight comes from sweet sweet classmates who are kind. Who take upon themselves extra things so you don't have to worry about them. Who tell you in the most kind ways that 'you look like crap and that you should probably go home' or that 'you look like you need some caffeine.' Delights come from kind people who agree to study with you and from people who forgive you when you confused the days and forgot you had set up to study with them. Delights come in the moments that people take the time to care about your life, to take out their earplugs and answer your questions. Delights come from this fantastic balance of give and take. Sometimes we are able to give more and sometimes we are blessed by all that is given.