I delight in voices.

utah sunsets

february 2014

There has been much to delight about lately! There is a scriptural gem that keeps coming back to me. It's a principle that truly has been such a blessing as I continue striving to understand it better.

The Voices

First of all, I should say that this concept is not my own. I read about it in a book called, "The Light of Christ" by John Pontius. While I don't know John personally, I have come to admire him and appreciate his dedication to learning the gospel and living the gospel. I should also add that as I have used these principles to distinguish the voices of a healthy mind that I feel they are true. They resonate with me personally. I feel that it has blessed my life for good. So take what you will and I hope something can be a gem for you.

In his book, John says this,
"It is one thing to say we must follow the voice of our conscience, which is the voice of the Lord within us. It is quite another to be able to clearly distinguish from the other voices we hear. Toward that end, let us cast some light upon the other voices {this coming after a lengthy discussion about the function of a conscience}.

Elder James E. Faust had this to say about the voices we hear:
'But we hear other voices. Paul said, "There are...so many kinds of voices in the world." (1 Corinthians 14:10) that compete with the voice of the Spirit. Such is the situation in the world. (Faust, "Voice of the Spirit," ellpses in original)."

John then goes on to identify three main sources of voices in a healthy mind. First, the voice of your own mind, second the voice that comes from Satan's realm, and third, the voice of the Lord through the Holy Spirit.

Here's what stands out to me about each of these:

the voice of my own mind
-you hear yourself think, you talk with yourself, discuss things with yourself, argue with yourself, etc. it is often unsure, questions things and is undecisive.
-it asks questions
-often takes a personal case e.g., i think i will fast today

the voice from satan's realm
-we deal with his minions, messangers, tempters
-the voice from this realm is cleaverly disguised and enticing
- "The adversary tries to smother this voice [of the Holy Spirit] with a multitude of loud, persistent, persuasive, and appealing voices: murmuring voices, conjuring up perceived injustices; whining voices, abhorring challenge and work; seductive voices, offering sensual enticements; soothing voices, lulling us into carnal security; intellectual voices, profession sophistication and superiority; proud voices, relying on the arm of the flesh; flattering voices, puffing us up with pride; cynical voices, destryoing hope; entertaining voices, promoting pleasure seeking; commercial voices, tempting us to "spend money for that which is of no worth" and our "labor for that which cannot satisfy." (2 Nephi 9:51), and delirious voices, spawning the desire for a "high"...[which is] death-defying experiences for nothing more than a thrill. (Faust, "Voice of the Spirit," 7)"
-promptings from this source will nearly always be stated as an absolute
-will always lead us away from the truth.
-they cannot forcue us to do anything, uness we yield to them, and they value our inability to see them.
-while the Holy Spirit generally ptompts us only once, the tempters often voice many objections to each prompting. e.g., The Holy Spirit may ptompt us to call everyone to family prayers. The evil ones suggest many reasons why we should not obey "everyone is tired. they will complain, you don't feel like it. people are already in bed. its late. its useless. you can do it tomorrow."

the voice of the Lord through the Holy Spirit
-this voice grows in content and quality as one heeds its direction until it becomes a significant guide and measure of truth.
-it often prompts contrary to where you were headed.
-easy to recognize because its the only one of the three that prompts to do good. these promptings come as absolute statements. e.g., fast today


This just resonates with me. I love it. Coming from a mind that never sleeps and that can't just turn off thoughts about now, tomorrow, yesterday, 5 minutes ago, and endless other points in time...I often feel like things get jumbled around. I feel confused, overwhelmed and like I'm failing.

I have found that by taking single thoughts that i have and recognizing their source, that power has come into my life. I have learned lessons in discernment, in trust, and in just how much the Lord wants to communicate with us, and not just wants but tries to communicate with us.  I delight in being empowered to know how I can more fully act for myself and not be acted upon. I delight in being able to choose.

I delight in themes of conference.

saturday am conference exodus

october 2013

salt lake city, ut

General Conference was SO good. Although the night before was long one (but such a good one), I met conference morning with happiness in my heart and great hope for answers that surely would come.

While you'll hear me talk about this conference for the next 6 months, I have to start by sharing some themes that stood out to me. Overall, I felt impressed that the prophets and apostles were speaking with a great voice of warning to the signs of the times that are upon us. Let there be no doubt that we have been warned about the wiles of the adversary which will tempt us in these the last days. Prophecy is being fulfilled at a rapid rate and it requires discernment, we need the companionship of the Spirit of the Holy Ghost.

Other themes included:
have courage not to compromise
how to receive strength
don't be deceived by satan and the world
covenants: make them, live them, love them
the priesthood and me
the essential role of women in the home
there are significant lessons to be learned in these difficult times
this is the Lord's church and the Lord's doctrine
pray to invite someone to receive the missionary lessons
the importance of our spiritual and physical well-being
we need the holy ghost's companionship
love others. be kind. have compassion.

Overall, I felt impressed that we as Mormons, as Latter-day Saints, as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints must be clear, we follow Jesus Christ.

Let there be no doubt about it in the thoughts of our heart, in our actions and deeds whose we are (children of a loving Heavenly Father) and who we follow (our Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ). We must settle these things within us and live accordingly.

I delight in being prepared for general conference.

general conference april 2013

salt lake city, ut

2013

Loving general conference has been a process for me in life and for the past 12 years or so, its been a process I've been actively trying to improve. Over these years, I've learned a lot of things that for me, make a difference and some years, it has made all the difference. For me, life seems to collide around general conference. There are a lot of times when things have come together and I have just said,..."thank heavens it's almost conference." My heart fills with gratitude as I think about general conference.  I'm so grateful to belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and now I add, I know it, I live it, I love it, thanks to Sister Dibb's talk this time last year!

While preparing for this general conference, I have made a list that I call, "10 Principles of Learning at General Conference." These are a few things that for me have made all the difference in my conference experience. It is by no means intended to be a comprehensive list and over time I anticipate it will still change.  But if you're seeking for ways or ideas to help conference mean more to you, maybe you can take some principle away from my list, apply it and see how conference blesses your life a little bit more.

1. Prepare. Prepare. Prepare.
This preparation happens in a lot of different ways...I'm going to throw a bunch of things out that have helped me prepare

• Writing down questions and taking them to the Lord through prayer and keeping them visible throughout conference. This is critical. If nothing else, do this. I have been working on my questions for a while now and I've been taking them to the Lord in prayer and pondering them in my heart. This has made all the difference for my conference experience.
• Frequently listen to general conference talks. Listen to previous conferences to prepare for future conference. Let the Lord tutor you in how he talks to you. You're also showing the Lord how much you treasure His word.
• In the week prior to conference, do 4 things: 1. Fast, 2. Attend the temple, 3. Serve, 4. Right a wrong. One of my former bishop's wives was in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. She shared that this is what they are asked to do the week prior to general conference. I still remember the distinct impression I had as she shared this that this was a critical formula.
• Get adequate rest. Enough said.
• Watch as much of conference live as you can. Be where you can be taking notes. I find that the first time I listen to a talk is when I get the most out of it and if I can listen live I tend to get more out of it as well.
• Be in a clean, spirit conducive environment. I need to listen in "peace and quiet" as my sister would say.  While not always possible, it is a good thing to strive for.
• Get "other stuff" done before so you can focus on conference. I like to multitask which at times has made this one hard; however, its so so worth it. Plus your mind is at rest when as much of that "other stuff" is done and can be out of your mind. 
• Pray about how to get the most out of conference. The Lord will help you know how best to help yourself prepare.
• Decide how you're going to take notes at conference. For me, this is exciting because I am a lover of all things "school supplies!" Notebooks, pens, pencils, highlighters, whatever it is, I just love it. If I am starting a new study journal, one that I'm likely going to carry around the next 6 months, I usually take notes in there, if I'm at the end of a study journal and its not going to last till the next conference, I usually take notes in a small journal I can carry with me in my scripture case for the next 6 months so I can refer back to it, remember, and use what I learned.

2. Be ready to listen and learn

• Again, get enough sleep. 8 hours is a long time, and brethren, 10 hours in one weekend is a challenge. It takes some spiritual and physical endurance. For those of us who have the opportunity to watch from the comfort of our own homes, sometimes this is a blessing and sometimes it is a curse because we can watch it wrapped up in our blankets and quilts. So be well rested so you can get the most out of the time you're devoting.
• Look the part. This historically and presently has been difficult for me. I have looked to conference as a break from getting ready; however, I am a huge proponent of dressing the part. I'd dress up to take tests (sometimes*) in grad school because I wanted to look successful to tell myself I was going to be successful. I believe the same applies. I feel like I'm going to get more out of it when I look the part.
• Have snacks. Done.
• Be spiritually ready. Really here I think the biggest thing is to know how the Lord talks to you. If we are being consistent in studying the scriptures and praying, this is generally easier in my opinion. Do whatever you need to to be ready to hear and feel what he has to tell you through the Holy Ghost.
• Have a pen and paper ready. Coming from this compulsive note taker...this is critical. Write down the thoughts you have because you might not have them again. 
• Go on walks in between sessions and prior. Again with the being awake concept. :)
• Turn off the stuff. We live in a society of smart phones, laptops and ipads...we check facebook automatically, instagram, pin things, whatever...leave your phone in the charging station or away from your fingers. An entire talk could have come and gone before you realize how much time you've spent communing with your phone rather than listening to the prophet. Eek!

3. Review your questions frequently.

I really like to have my questions on a note card or some place in my notebook that is easily accessible so I can review them frequently. 

4. Focus on your thoughts and feelings.

Sometimes I almost transcribe the whole talk...but that's not the point. The point is that I write down the inspiration I receive. The words that they say will be posted but the impressions I have will never be published unless I write them down.

5. Note patterns and things that stand out. 

One of my favorite activities is to write down summaries of each conference. What themes stood out? What recurring thoughts did I keep having? What patterns are in my notes as I review them? What was the Lord trying to tell me? What do I need to change? What does he want me to observe in myself? I then love later going back and comparing what themes stuck out to me initially and then what themes stick out 6 months later.

6. Write things you're going to do because of what you have felt and learned.

Coming from someone with a perpetual to-do list, this is key for me. I like to keep a list of do impressions as it were that I can tape in my journal and go and do as a result of conference. Sometimes, I've also called this my focus list, just things to focus on over the next 6 months.

7. Re-read, re-listen and re-view.

Never be afraid to go back and ask the Lord, is there more? Even after studying talks for 6 months, I still learn new things, different things still impress me and even now sometimes I think...do I remember this talk? Because different things will end up standing out to me. I love that we can go back, that I can dial up a talk and listen to it while I drive, while I get ready in the morning, anytime. Its an easy way to fill my life with good things!

8. Keep your commitments. 

If there was a change you felt prompted to make, make it. If you felt like you needed to do something as a result of what you heard or felt, do it. Remember that the Lord blesses us by what we do with what we are given. And where much is given much is required. If it was right on Saturday afternoon during conference, it will still be right on Monday evening.

9. Keep conference in your heart.

Review your notes. Its also always a personal goal of mine to re-read every conference talk by the following conference. This time I'm going to try to watch, read, or listen to a conference talk everyday  between conferences. And before you discredit this...in a world of technology and smart phones, its SO easy to listen to talks as we exercise, garden, commute (that's what I do), get ready, shower, prepare meals, etc. There are so many ways we can keep conference in our hearts, just find a way that works for you to do it.

10. Express gratitude to the Lord for living Prophets and Apostles. Pray for them for the following conference.

These good brethren need our prayers. I can't imagine all the time, effort, labour and diligence they put into preparing these talks, and for the first presidency to prepare two, even three talks...I just can't even imagine. They need our faith and prayers! Also it is so important to thank Our Heavenly Father for what we have learned, for living prophets and for the blessings that come into our life as we listen and learn from latter-day prophets. 

Now it's your turn. What works for you? How do you prepare for general conference? What is something new you will try to prepare for this general conference? 

______________
to view general conference
to learn more about what i believe
lds.org's, how to prepare for general conference
why conference matters?
preparing for general conference, ensign 2012

What the message of Jesus Christ means to me?

Like i previously mentioned, I had a commenter ask about what exactly the message of Jesus Christ is. That question has been so overwhelming because its so broad and beautiful, but I can tell you what it means to me.

The message of Jesus Christ can be summed somewhat summarized by the first 4 articles of faith Articles of Faith:

1. We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.

2. We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.

3. We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

4. We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

The message of Jesus Christ is that there is a plan that was decreed long before the worlds were created where our Heavenly Father, presented a plan for all his children. This plan is known as the Plan of Salvation or the Plan of Happiness. Jesus Christ, the firstborn of the Father and Only Begotten was chosen to be our Savior and our Redeemer.

And now to quote from Preach My Gospel (Chapter 2, Lesson 2, The Plan of Salvation):

We will all suffer physical death, but Jesus Christ overcame the obstacle of physical death for us. When He died on the cross, His spirit became separated from His body. On the third day, His spirit and His body were reunited eternally, never to be separated again. He appeared to many people, showing them that He had an immortal body of flesh and bone. The reuniting of body and spirit is called resurrection and is a gift promised to each of us. Because of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, we will all be resurrected regardless of whether we have done good or evil in this life. We will have a perfect, immortal body of flesh and bones that will never again be subject to disease, pain, or death. The resurrection makes it possible to return to God’s presence to be judged but does not guarantee that we will be able to live in His presence. To receive that blessing, we must also be cleansed from sin.

God sent His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, to overcome the obstacle of sin in addition to the obstacle of physical death. We are not responsible for the Fall of Adam and Eve, but we are responsible for our own sins. God cannot look on sin with any degree of allowance, and sin prevents us from living in His presence. Only through the Savior’s grace and mercy can we become clean from sin so that we can live with God again. This is possible through exercising faith in Jesus Christ, repenting, being baptized, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end.

To fulfill the plan of salvation, Christ paid the penalty for our sins. He alone was able to do that. He was called and prepared in pre-earth life. He was the literal Son of God in the flesh. He was sinless and completely obedient to His Father. Though tempted, He never gave in to temptation. When the Father asked His Beloved Son to pay the price of the world’s sins, Jesus was prepared and willing. The Atonement included His suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and His suffering and death on the cross, and it ended with His Resurrection. Though He suffered beyond comprehension—so much so that He bled from every pore and asked whether it were possible that this burden be lifted from Him—He submitted to the Father’s will in a supreme expression of love for His Father and for us. This triumph of Jesus Christ over spiritual death by His suffering and over physical death by His Resurrection is called the Atonement.

Christ promises to forgive our sins on the condition that we accept Him by exercising faith in Him, repenting, receiving baptism by immersion, and the laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost, and striving faithfully to keep His commandments to the end of our lives. Through continuing repentance, we may obtain forgiveness and be cleansed of our sins by the power of the Holy Ghost. We are relieved of the burden of guilt and shame, and through Jesus Christ we become worthy to return to the presence of God.

As we rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, He can help us endure our trials, sicknesses, and pain. We can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation. All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

In paying the penalty for our sins, Jesus did not, however, eliminate our personal responsibility. We must show that we accept Him and that we will follow His commandments. Only through the gift of the Atonement can we return to live with God.

I love that second to last paragraph when it states, "All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ." I think that is the central message. As children of a loving Heavenly Father, he wants us to know that there is a plan that not only helps us here in mortality but also in eternity. He wants us to know that he has provided a way for us to return back to him, back home. He wants us to know that this gift of the Atonement is here for each of us to utilize in our lives so that things can be made right. In the four gospel writings in the New Testament of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John and in the writings of the prophets in the Book of Mormon who wrote of Christ appearing to the people in the Americas, I never cease to be amazed by just how many times Christ invites Come unto Me. (My favorite Come unto Christ scripture can be found here: 3 Nephi 9: 13-15)

And not just Come unto Me in your good times or in the times when life is good, but Come unto Me with your burdens, with your weakness, with the things that are hard, with the things you don't understand, with your pain, your sickness and your infirmity.

Christ invites us to Come to Him, to learn of Him, to be healed through His Atonement.

I love the way that Elder Jeffery R. Holland puts it:

It seems clear that the essence of our duty and the fundamental requirement of our mortal life is captured in these brief phrases from any number of scenes in the Savior’s mortal ministry. He is saying to us, “Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going,” He says, “we can talk about where you are going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness,” He promises. “I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.”

My beloved friends, I know of no other way for us to succeed or to be safe amid life’s many pitfalls and problems. I know of no other way for us to carry our burdens or find what Jacob in the Book of Mormon called “that happiness which is prepared for the saints.”⁶

So how does one “come unto Christ” in response to this constant invitation? The scriptures give scores of examples and avenues. You are well acquainted with the most basic ones. The easiest and the earliest comes simply with the desire of our heart, the most basic form of faith that we know. “If ye can no more than desire to believe,” Alma says, exercising just “a particle of faith,” giving even a small place for the promises of God to find a home—that is enough to begin.⁷ Just believing, just having a “molecule” of faith—simply hoping for things which are not yet seen in our lives, but which are nevertheless truly there to be bestowed⁸—that simple step, when focused on the Lord Jesus Christ, has ever been and always will be the first principle of His eternal gospel, the first step out of despair.

And so, the message of Jesus Christ means to me to come, come and learn of him, come and be healed by him. Come and learn of his commandments so your life can be filled with peace, joy and happiness. Come and learn that his gospel has been restored to the earth today, that there are prophets on the earth leading and guiding the Lord's true church and that God still speaks to man today.

I know that as we learn of Him in any small way and express our desire to learn more of Him that he will send the Spirit of the Holy Ghost to testify to our souls that He lives and that The Plan of Salvation is the Plan for all of our Heavenly Father's children. We can pray to know of these things for ourselves. That is how I have come to know what I know and for me, it has made all the difference.

Please see: http://mormon.org/beliefs/jesus-christ for further information
Please contact me with any further questions by leaving a comment or emailing me under the email in my profile.

-----
broken things to mend, elder jeffery r. holland
the atonement can secure your peace and happiness, elder richard g. scott
where is the pavilion, president henry b. eyring
missionary work and the atonement, elder jeffery r. holland
the atonement can clean, reclaim and sanctify our lives, elder shayne m. bowen
*mormon message

I delight in the tying of ends.

tying of loose ends

mantua, utah

april 2013

As I listened to general conference this past weekend, I noticed something that most all the speakers did very well, besides what the spoke on, they tied up loose ends. There is a principle of "talk" writing that might have a specific name but I call it the tying of ends...where you start with something and end with that same something-ish.

The easiest way I can think to explain it is when someone starts off with a story which digresses into something else but by the end they've come back to the original story having tied it all together...hence the tying of the ends. People use hymns, songs, or poems to do it a lot too. General authorities use it all. the. time. Which is good because there is nothing like a good subject matter and a good talk writing skills.

I strive for these "tying of end" moments in my life as well. Usually it starts with a question, then it seems in things I do or go to, or think about or conversations that I have, or talks I read, or meetings I sit in, or scriptures or books that I read, all relate back to it. It builds and I learn and then it all culminates and ties together...relating back to the first thing resulting in lessons learned, purposes discovered and blessings recognized. It's a beautiful thing and something I seek and look forward to watching unravel.

There are many lessons, "secrets" and things about this concept that I have discovered over time but the true principle I always come back to is this: that I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father who knows me. He knows me. Even more than that, he is intent on my personal growth and will help me see the things I need to see and learn the lessons I need to learn while helping others on their way as well.

As was taught in my institute class tonight, the Lord's gains on the experiences we have in mortality are eternal. He doesn't just send us here to earth to accomplish one purpose. We accomplish many purposes, most of which I believe go unintentionally unrecognized. But they don't have to.

Because the Lord is intent on our growth, he will help us see what we need to see. He will "tie the ends." Some ends aren't tied together any too soon but in the gospel of Jesus Christ, I do believe they come. The more we seek him, the more they come.  And this is my lesson learned.

on this easter sunday

happy easter. i love easter, possibly more this year than ever before. while i always seem to get sick on easter/the week of easter (this year was no exception), it gives me more the opportunity to reflect on all the blessings in my life that i recognize because i know my savior lives.

holidays are an easy time to reflect back on my experience as a missionary. because it was such a precise day i remember exactly where i was, where i went and what experiences i had that day. as i awoke this morning and watched my favorite easter conference address none were with him, i remember watching it with an investigator the in middle of snowy miramichi. because easter had fallen on a sunday that year, my companion and i had been able to attend another denomination's easter service (because of the time delay, conference wasn't on till the afternoon). i remember thinking...but this holiday is about how he lives, not that he died. yes he died, and yes that is important too, but to me the most important thing is that he lives. 

as i have reflected on that fact, that he lives, i think of what that means in my life and how that empowers my life. i have read a few talks and things that have impressed me this week. recently i have been studying the subject of grieving and i guess this easter holiday its kind of all come together. i've studied mourning in the past as well, when the word occurs in the scriptures, the circumstances that surround it, the attitudes of the people, the perspectives reflected in the writing, commonalities, differences, etc. maybe elder holland and elder bowen say it best in their respective conference addresses (none were with him and "because i live, ye shall live also")

first, elder holland:

Brothers and sisters, one of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path—the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of theHoly Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said: “I will not leave you comfortless: [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].” ²⁰

My other plea at Easter time is that these scenes of Christ’s lonely sacrifice, laced with moments of denial and abandonment and, at least once, outright betrayal, must never be reenacted by us. He has walked alone once. Now, may I ask that never again will He have to confront sin without our aid and assistance, that never again will He find only unresponsive onlookers when He sees you and me along His Via Dolorosain our present day. As we approach this holy week—Passover Thursday with its Paschal Lamb, atoning Friday with its cross, Resurrection Sunday with its empty tomb—may we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear. This Easter week and always, may we stand by Jesus Christ “at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death,” ²¹ for surely that is how He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

and elder bowen:

I have learned that the bitter, almost unbearable pain can become sweet as you turn to your Father in Heaven and plead for His comfort that comes through His plan; His Son, Jesus Christ; and His Comforter, who is the Holy Ghost.

What a glorious blessing this is in our lives. Wouldn’t it be tragic if we didn’t feel great sorrow when we lose a child? How grateful I am to my Father in Heaven that He allows us to love deeply and love eternally. How grateful I am for eternal families. How grateful I am that He has revealed once again through His living prophets the glorious plan of redemption.

Remember as you attended the funeral of your loved one the feelings in your heart as you drove away from the cemetery and looked back to see that solitary casket—wondering if your heart would break.

I testify that because of Him, even our Savior, Jesus Christ, those feelings of sorrow, loneliness, and despair will one day be swallowed up in a fulness of joy. I testify that we can depend on Him and when He said:

“I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

“Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also.”⁵

I testify that, as stated in Preach My Gospel, “as we rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, He can help us endure our trials, sicknesses, and pain. We can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation. All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”⁶

I testify that on that bright, glorious morning of the First Resurrection, your loved ones and mine will come forth from the grave as promised by the Lord Himself and we will have a fulness of joy. Because He lives, they and we shall live also.

i have recently been reading a book by sister wendy ulrich called the temple experience, in the part i read yesterday she discussed the difference between being cured and being healed. i had never thought of those words in contrast but i immediately caught where she was headed. being cured refers to being brought back to how you once were; but being healed "involves a spiritual and emotional reweaving of our life story to incorporate, not merely remove, our injuries. it involves growth and personal change, maturation into a new state of deeper trust in god despite, not in the absence of, suffering. it includes acceptance of our lost innocence, while reaching toward greater wisdom (p. 8-9)."

the savior heals. he comes with compassion and he heals us. his atonement is all about making healing possible in our lives, regardless of the wrong we have done or that has been done to us. i know this to be true and that's why i am 100% confident in saying, as preach my gospel says, "all that is unfair about life can be made through the atonement of jesus christ."

let us be confident in our heavenly father's plan for all his children. let us utilize the atonement so we can trust jesus.

---------
none were with him, elder jeffery r holland
"because i live, ye shall live also, elder shayne m bowen
preach my gospel
the temple experience, wendy ulrich

I delight in believing.

I've been reading in the Book of Alma in the Book of Mormon. I'm currently in Alma 33:20. Alma is explaining to the people about prophets of old, and about faith when he brings in one of my favorite stories--Moses raising up a serpent...and all those who looked...lived. And those who would not look perished.  Alma adds this insight: "Now the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would heal them (Alma 33: 20)." 

I'm lead to ask myself this question:

What am I not doing, simply because I don't believe it will help me? In those areas, I need to examine my faith. In some respects, I'm forced to stop before the comma and ask myself: What am I not doing?  And add this...That I know I should be doing? And then add this...Am I not doing it because I don't believe it will help me?

There are always those things that even though I know I should do them, I don't for whatever reason.  But what is the reason?  And why wouldn't I do all the things that I know that will help me live a happy, productive, fulfilled life?  Is it because I have not developed the faith to believe they will help me and ultimately heal me?  

As I ponder this, I think about my relationship with prayer. While I pray almost constantly, in my mind, in my thoughts, I have always had the most difficult time getting on my knees at the beginning of the day and starting my day with prayer.  It makes no sense to me and sometimes I think Heavenly Father must just think...how did she miss this foundational step?  I don't know. I do know and believe that prayer is something so good and so important to me and to my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  I know its a commandment. But...alas, my knees hitting the floor first thing...does not happen as consistently as it should. 

But, Alma goes on to teach one of my favorite lessons that always gives me such hope for the future, for repentance, for change...

"And even all this can ye do, if ye will (Alma 33: 23)."

There's a choice. And everyday I can change my choices. *Beautiful isn't it?* It is in my power to change my actions and it is within the Lord's every desire, hope and ability that we will make those changes and choose Him. 

Look and live.

I delight in desire.

In the past couple of days, I have read a lot of different things.  I've read from the Book of Mormon, I've read about the Lidcombe Stuttering Program, I've read all about protecting human research participants and all sorts of things on the NIH website, I've read about phonological disorders and about syndromes affecting speech and language development, I've read some of the book A Single Voice by the inspiring Sister Kristen Oaks, wife of Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, in other words, I've been reading lots of very different kinds of things.

The interesting thing is that in all the reading I've done one word has continually come to my mind.  

Desire.

As a missionary, one of the most influential district meetings I was able to attend was about educating your desires.  At the time I remember thinking...what in the world does that even mean?  As the years have gone by since then, and starting within hours of that meeting I began to diligently reflect on what that phrase meant and what it could mean for me.  

Its definition has changed over time and today at this moment it means something like this to me:

What is the desire of my heart? And, do my current actions match those desires?  And if not, then what do I need to change?

In Relief Society today we talked about Advancing the Work of the Lord.  That is done in so many ways today, more ways than ever before.  As we brainstormed all the possible ways there are to share the gospel my mind kept coming back to the fact that first we have to start with the desire. Being aware of what we are desiring is crucial.  

Somedays, my desires get a little lost.  Somedays the desire for sleep seems to be overriding to all other desires.  Somedays the desire to be successful at work/school overcome the desire to be the places I ought to be instead.  Somedays the desire to be lazy overrides the desire to serve others. 

However, if I am constantly thinking and educating the desires I ought to have and truly deeply want to have, then I am more likely to achieve those desires.  Alma, in the book of Alma in the Book of Mormon Chapter 29 says this: "...for I know that he granteth unto men according to their desire, whether it be unto death or unto life; yea, I know that he allotteth unto men, yea, decreeth unto them according to their wills, whether they be unto salvation or unto destruction."

Point of the story?  Desire counts.  It counts to us and it counts to the Lord.  Educating our desires and knowing what we really want more than anything else is an active daily process that is reflected in our day-to-day actions. 

What's my goal this week?  Thinking and recognizing what desires my actions are reflecting.

I delight in when my Mission President came home!

Last weekend was a BLAST!

I always delight in my mission, but really, today I'm so nostalgic about it!  Sunday I got to hear my mission president (technically my second mission president) report on his mission!  The last time I saw President and Sister Simpson was two years ago when my mom and I went back to visit my mission, it was such a happy and incredible day.  See picture below.

And this (on the right) is from soon after they arrived in the mission, okay, the second time I got to see them at a zone conference in Annapolis Royal.

And so, this weekend Cherilyn, Katie, Ashley and I took a little roadtrip north where we met up with Jen and Heather and had a super Saturday adventure in Idaho Falls (or "IF" as the locals call it).

First stop:  Idaho Falls Temple!

Sisters Toliver, Reid, Brandley, Crane and of course me, McQuivey
The Idaho Falls Temple was the 8th operating temple in the Church.  So, that makes it unique because of some of its features that other/newer temples don't have (four-stage progressive).  It was dedicated by President David O. McKay in October 1940.  It was so beautiful and having the opportunity to be surrounded by mission sisters was fantastic.  As a missionary, the temple was always home.  When I returned from my mission, I felt the same way about the temple.  No matter where we are in the world, no matter how far from our families, the Lord's House/Temple is always home.

After the temple, we wandered along the greenway of the Snake River--it has beautiful gardens!

Wandering the garden paths...beautiful!  Seriously, if you're ever passing through Idaho Falls, get off the historic exit and wander the greenway.  It has some beautiful gardens, paths, and the water makes it all just perfect.

Add in the "falls" of Idaho Falls and the temple in the background and well...its SO beautiful!

Shadow Picture in the Snake River!

(borrowed this one from Jen's facebook--love this picture)

After lunch, and a walk, it was time for ice cream!  What a colorful selection!

Finally, we went back to Jen's family's house--is this not the most awesome barn?  And I'm SO glad we didn't break their trampoline while trying to capture this awesome shot below (also via Jen, thank you!)

How to cross the ditch to get to the daisy's?  Hum, such deep thought.  :)

I wish this photo captured the lighting a little better, but alas, my iphone has its limits.  But just imagine the glow, it was SO beautiful!

Can I just say how wonderful it was to see President with his adorable grandchildren! They love him so much!  When all of us sisters walked into the church, Sister Simpson was right there.  It was so great to see her!  She thought it was so great that we had planned our arrival so well, but then after we told her we all came together, she got all teary (okay she already was) but you know, anyway, she said how amazing the eternal bond of a mission is.  And it is so true!  Something else she said during her talk was how the Lord teaches us line upon line--however much we want to learn, he will help us!  The Lord knows no limits!  We must educate our desires and act accordingly.  When President began to speak, my heart was so happy!  I remember being so anxious for zone conferences because I felt so spiritually full after hearing his counsel and wisdom.  I still remember so many specifics of those talks.  The lesson I really walked away with on Sunday was this--two questions he posed:
1.  Will you just trust Jesus?
2.  Will you just submit your will to his now and do whatever is necessary?

Both the questions struck me to the core. First of all, I was reminded of the conversation I had just been having with a good friend earlier in the week.  Plus I have recently been pondering such things as I have been studying a talk by Elder Neal A. Maxwell, "Swallowed Up in the Will of the Father."  It is a really great talk I was given at institute one evening, definitely a recommended read.

The other thing President reminded us of, which was a reminder I needed was this: "You don't have to be perfect, you only have to be worthy."  I am so grateful for the opportunity of a mission, for the opportunity to have come to know so many great and wonderful people and for the opportunity to know how much Heavenly Father loves all his children.

The Simpsons and Sisters!

Thank you to these girls for a great time and great memories!

Thank you to the Simpson's for their ever great example, love, and kindness!