bucket list: promontory, utah

promontory ranch

may 2013

i delight in fishing. i kind of always have. i liked the concept of fishing...throwing my line out, being able to get distracted, think, let my mind wander and ponder and then...tug tug tug...and i caught a fish. over time i've developed a love for fly fishing which takes a little more of an active mind than good 'ole bait fishing but possibly even more relaxing and pounds more fun. i loved being able to get our for the first time this season with my dad to a new place, the atk ranch. it's in the middle of no where which is part of its beauty. a gem in the desert we had the place to our selves with the exception of the caretaker, his dogs and a mindful horse who seemed to enjoy whinnying at us when he thought we were doing things we ought not (like taking kayak's out on the bass and bluegill pond). 

after a delightful day of good fishing, kayaking, photography and a sunburn. the day was topped off by going to see the reenactment of the wedding of the rails (uniting of the transcontinental railroad).  more pictures of that later, but it was definitely on my bucket list of things to do. i'm a true lover of utah history and pretty much everything i learned about utah in fourth grade--the indians, the songs of all the counties (which i can still sing all 29), the rocks, the trains, the pioneers...i delight in it all.

and so here's to meeting a bucket list goal. welcoming in summer the right way. and celebrating an awesome half birthday. 

delighting in 18/52: progress, lessons and prayer

we are ute fans

j/k, we are really byu fans

may 2012

How has it been an entire year since graduation? It actually feels like I've been an SLP forever, and I don't even have my CCC's yet. I still love it though and I'm so grateful to be where I'm at right now.

It has been a fantastic week. No near death experiences on the freeway, no getting hit on by old men (I don't think that post ever made it on here), and no other crazy out of the ordinary things to report on this week.

One of my biggest delights of the week is exercising. I've finally gotten back outside on a regular basis, and I love it! (And need it!) I don't know how I survive winter.  Friday was my first real Friday off in forever. I got up and went on a walk early enough that only the junior high kids are out waiting for the school bus. As I walked on the usual route, I listened to conference talks. I also had the Nike Running App letting me know when I'd gone 15 minutes, reminding me how out of shape I am. Surely it must know I'm walking with that many minutes to go one mile. Oi! Anyway, as I walked and pondered the gospel, I just kept thinking...step by step.

Step by step, we just keep going. Today in sacrament meeting, a few people talked about how they weren't sure why they were where they were in their lives right now but that they'd figure it out and be grateful for the experience. Then someone else stood up and said how she has come to realize how the Lord really does want us to be happy, even in times of trial. She said, "God's plan is called the Plan of Happiness for a reason, he means for us to be happy." And I agree. Life in the gospel is not easy and we can never and should never confuse easiness for happiness...those words have no relation in that way. Life takes work and life in the gospel requires work. Work brings happiness because work also brings progress. God's plan is all about progress. It's about who you were, who you are and who you can become.  

Step by step we make it where we need to be. Sometimes I feel I'm not stepping and I'm actually just shuffling...but it's still moving forward. It's still progress and we can't discredit progress. 

And so, this week, as I have seen bucket list dreams become not just possibilities but realities...I think of how mindful my Heavenly Father is of me. That he cares about what I care about, not just about what I think he cares about. My prayers need to reflect this too...I need to tell him about all my problems, hopes and desires, not just the ones I think He will care about because all the ones I care about, He can and will care about.

I delight in hope. I delight in new adventures. I delight in trying. 

i delight in the way things work out.

quick chat moment...

things with me work are good, things with me family are good, things with me room are a disaster.

my mind is like my room, a disaster.  there are so many things rattling around that there is little order. in this fact, i do not delight.

i do however delight in the things that i can't see but that the lord can see. i delight in following those little promptings, even when i don't understand them. i delight in the things that didn't work out even when i thought i wanted them to. i delight in those moments when i see what i once couldn't see but now i see so so clearly. heavenly father is so kind that way. and in some ways i also think he just must have a great sense of humor. and so, i am grateful that he humors me and protects me through this mortal experience.

i delight in being protected.

today was a day i didn't die. i didn't even sustain serious injuries.

comments like that obviously suggest that these things might have possibly almost happened.

the story: it was just like any other day, driving south to work. i get to oh just past mid-way, when i see something flying through the air...but what was it? it reminded me of a windmill twirling in circles in the air. as i split-secondly alternate my glance between being a safe driver and figuring out what is going on with the flying windmill,  it disappears. another glance back and i catch sight of it again as i realize it a piece of glass, a BIG pieces of glass that slams onto the freeway 1.5 lanes away just seconds, and i mean split-seconds before i come upon it. i was probably the closest car. i saw the impact. i watched it happen.

now i don't know what happens when a large piece of glass that has flown off a car going 80 mph (because that's the average speed limit in spite of the 65 mile an hour sign) that has whirled through the air and then slams back to earth--does exactly in terms of damage when it hits an also accelerating vehicle which is consequently made of glass...windows at least. (can you imagine if someone's windows had been open?) yes, i can't even imagine. but i can tell you it does not fair well when it slams into a cement freeway. millions of pieces. if only i could send you my mental replay.

i was in shock. and i was confused...did that really just happen? as i retold the story to a co-worker, she said did you see the truck it came from? sure i did. well did you get their license plate? the better question is, did the thought even cross my mind? not even in the slightest. i just drove, re-played, and drove.

and then the thought ran briefly through my mind. "i know."

and with that...i really do know that He knows. there have been so many moments, little moments and bigger moments when i know that he  has been mindful of me. and not just me as in one among the many, but me in terms of me and where i am and what i'm doing. i don't think its just a saying when we say that "god is in the details of our lives."

i think this instance is just one more evidence of that fact.

and so today i delight in being protected. literally. perfectly. gratefully.

delighting in 16/52

what a week. i think i say that close to every week but this week, really...it has been an incredible week. i've had the opportunity do new things, experience a day in the ogden itinerant clinic for children with special health care needs, go to dinner at a fancy place downtown enjoying a three-course meal for $15, roam trader joe's in my own state of ut, present on the research i've been working on all academic year and complete a year of urlend-ae where a bunch of strangers and colleagues have become dear friends, mentors as well as colleagues. i attended institute where the spirit was so distinct it was almost tangible. i participated in the apraxia walk and enjoyed 'sister time' with my dear sister who kept reminding me for the 24 hours prior that 'she was free' and that 'she had no plans.' (where did she learn to drop such good hints?) i was the first one to arrive to do initiatory at the temple saturday am. had a much needed conversation with the other half of my grad school duo which i du-oh-not-know what i would do without. wrote a letter of recommendation for someone, that's a first! got an awesome package in the mail, went on an am and pm walk, and learned more about the law of consecration (thank you fill-in sunday school teaching experiences...my unofficial calling, i swear. (and i love).

i appreciate the opportunity to mind dump all the delights at the end of each week as my paper journal seems to be much more filled with things i'm worried or anxious about, things i do not yet know or understand and general complaints of the day (e.g., the computer crashed after an hour of working on a report which was unrecoverable, i had a headache, i went three days without any diet coke and have doubled, tripled and possibly quadrupled my water intake since then, i have to work at a different clinic because i don't yet have my ccc's, it's cold...), essentially its full of things that if people were to look at it, they'd say...wow...random and boring. but here, i really really try to see the good, because there is so so much good. i've been blessed with so many great opportunities and so many great people who influence my life for good.

right now, i have the great opportunity to pray for some really amazing people. there was a time at the very very beginning of the year when i remember distinctly thinking...wow, everyone close to me seems to be doing pretty good, nothing major among my close friends and family. my how that has changed since that time. although few of those changes have happened very directly to me, they have directly happened to people that i love so so much. knowing of their pain, causes me pain. it is in those situations where it is so easy to feel helpless which i do. i have learned that one of the things i can do is to pray and to not just pray but to pray with real faith, pure faith. i am grateful to know of the lord's commandments so i can be ready to exercise that faith when the time comes that it is needed. while i cannot ever know of the results of exercising faith in that way, i do know that because the lord is bound when we do what he asks, that he makes things work together for the good of his children...even when those ways and that working together is not at all in the way we hope or anticipate. the lord's ways are just so much greater than our ways. but one thing is for sure...things will work together for our good as we keep on the path that leads back to him.

I delight in the tying of ends.

tying of loose ends

mantua, utah

april 2013

As I listened to general conference this past weekend, I noticed something that most all the speakers did very well, besides what the spoke on, they tied up loose ends. There is a principle of "talk" writing that might have a specific name but I call it the tying of ends...where you start with something and end with that same something-ish.

The easiest way I can think to explain it is when someone starts off with a story which digresses into something else but by the end they've come back to the original story having tied it all together...hence the tying of the ends. People use hymns, songs, or poems to do it a lot too. General authorities use it all. the. time. Which is good because there is nothing like a good subject matter and a good talk writing skills.

I strive for these "tying of end" moments in my life as well. Usually it starts with a question, then it seems in things I do or go to, or think about or conversations that I have, or talks I read, or meetings I sit in, or scriptures or books that I read, all relate back to it. It builds and I learn and then it all culminates and ties together...relating back to the first thing resulting in lessons learned, purposes discovered and blessings recognized. It's a beautiful thing and something I seek and look forward to watching unravel.

There are many lessons, "secrets" and things about this concept that I have discovered over time but the true principle I always come back to is this: that I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father who knows me. He knows me. Even more than that, he is intent on my personal growth and will help me see the things I need to see and learn the lessons I need to learn while helping others on their way as well.

As was taught in my institute class tonight, the Lord's gains on the experiences we have in mortality are eternal. He doesn't just send us here to earth to accomplish one purpose. We accomplish many purposes, most of which I believe go unintentionally unrecognized. But they don't have to.

Because the Lord is intent on our growth, he will help us see what we need to see. He will "tie the ends." Some ends aren't tied together any too soon but in the gospel of Jesus Christ, I do believe they come. The more we seek him, the more they come.  And this is my lesson learned.

general conference april 2013

i love general conference!

i am so grateful that God still speaks to man. that Jesus Christ leads His church through living prophets and apostles.

a few themes that i identified in conference include:

obedience obedience obedience
heavenly father's love and awareness of all his children, always
the importance of exercising our moral agency
preserving home and family and fulfilling familial duties
the importance of obeying both physical and spiritual laws
essentials of a great marriage
how to have peace
procreative power and priesthood power
60,000 missionaries!

this won't be the last time you'll hear me talk about general conference; i'm still trying to catch the few sessions i may have dozed off in. one day i will build the spiritual endurance to make it all the way through saturday afternoon's session.

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general conference, april 2013