grow

sometimes we leave things. and sometimes we must come back to them. blogging is one of those things for me. over the past three weeks I have felt the tug to write. write more. explain more. process more. share more. 

vulnerability is a skill. and while its not a skill that comes easily to me, not being vulnerable and willing to share some about ourselves can make it so we, as a friend recently put it...make ourselves the elephant in the room. I'm extremely guilty of this. I've always been a listener. I love this attribute about myself. but I also feel reticent, nervous, share to be willing and vulnerable in sharing about myself. once I am, I'm all in. I share much more willingly and openly, but I recognize that keep a pretty good wall of emotional guard as a standard practice. 

while perhaps I should just accept this and move on, I'm driven to ask why. I won't go into my why's because what's more important is the what nows. what do we do now? what do I do now?

well for starters, I decide not to care what people think. I'm really good at caring about what people think so this is really hard for me. I've also decided to be more decisive. if I have an opinion, I share it, even if I don't know if this will be something that is pleasing and amenable to the person I'm proposing the idea to. I've decided that's on them, not me. 

additionally, I've decided to be more intentional about sharing. so far, I think that's going well. recognition is often the hardest first step. 

and so we grow. so we change. so we do things that do not come naturally to us. we gain increasing insight as we seek it and facilitate it.