Monday, January 23, 2012

I delight in remembering.

What a day. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by how hard some peoples lives are. It's the nature of my job to see lots of people in lots of circumstances in life. Most of the time they've gone through something traumatic. A stroke, an accident, the list goes on and on. For some, life will never be the same. We talk about things in terms of "the new normal" i.e. what they and their families will need to adjust to as being the new way it is. Coping with "new normals" is not an easy task.

I'm still working on not bringing work home. Right now, I can't help it. My heart aches for these people, their families, the lives changed and affected by usually a split second occurrence.

Over the weekend, I ran across this magnificent magnet at Deseret Book. "Remember who you are, otherwise they'll take you to the hospital and check for brain injuries." I took an instant liking to it because I work with people with brain injuries. The words served a more important purpose in standing as a reminder of the bigger picture...who we really are.

Really, we're all spiritual beings having an earthly experience, not to be confused with the other way around. This means that we are spiritual beings, or children of God first, and everything else second. This eternal identity viewed from an eternal perspective helps to keep the trials of life constrained to their proper place... stepping stones to further growth and attainment (a little paraphrasing from this talk by Elder Scott).

This perspective thing is truly easier said than done. While I'd like to think that I maintain this mindset all the time...I don't. There are days and times when it seems that the here and now consumes me. Yesterday was one of those days. But I need those times too. I need the opportunity to learn again and remember again the things I know deep down. Each time I like to think that my testimony of the need for a Savior and his continuous Atonement grows just a little. Each time I am reminded how grateful I am for the possibility for change. For the knowledge of the resurrection. For the blessings of tomorrows which bring new outlooks on life--full of hope and possibility, growth and progression--however much or however little it may be. I delight in remembering the whole picture, the whole purpose, the whole meaning, the whole possibility, and the whole plan.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

I delight in inspired answers.

Sometimes I get in a fight with blogs. If I'm not careful...I start focusing on the things I don't have as opposed to all the many blessings I have been blessed with. Hence, me and google reader have regular clean out sessions. A while back, I started a hunt for uplifting websites. I love personal blogs and enjoy reading about what is going on in the lives of my friends and family. I love blogs with beautiful pictures by my fantastically talented friends. I love blogs that teach me how to do things. I love blogs that show me a new way of looking at life.

The other day, I ran across the blog entitled: The Redheaded Hostess. I linked her site to the title. Anyway, she has some of the most fantastic advice about how to organize gospel studies--by both topic and chapter. I'm always looking for a new way of doing that as my current system has recently experienced multi-system failure. Anyway, if you're interested in re-charging and synthesizing your studies--check out here, here and here.

The reason I loved the way the Redheaded Hostess organized scripture study is because of this talk. I was a student at BYU at the time and Elder Bednar's talk entitled "A Reservoir of Living Water" hit me like something strong. I realized that I wasn't getting all that I could out of my scripture study. I realized, if I was merely reading or drawing wimpy parallels to my life, that I was short-sighting myself of something so much better. Since then, things have changed. I have learned to love more and more the patterns, themes and connections that are embedded in the standard works of scripture (Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price).

I am grateful that learning is a process. I'm grateful of the Lord's mindfulness of us, what we need, when we need it, to take us to higher planes of learning and integration.

Friday, January 20, 2012

I delight in my new normal.

seeing these two everyday--also my new normal
I've been experiencing writer's block.
Not because I don't have anything to say...because that is rarely the case. Actually, it's because I have too much to say and most of it, I can't say. This 'silence' of types is my new normal. Healthcare privacy laws prohibit the discussion of how I spend most of my days. And so, this week...I've been working to figure out "my new normal."

I'm a big journal writer, I always have been. Writing is how I organize, process, and let go of things. Over the course of my graduate school career, my journal writing has slowly decreased until now...I'm only writing a sentence a day.

But I need more than a sentence a day to express and process and remember my life. And so, here you'll continue to read about my delights and my lessons learned. (the other blog is currently out of commission. not because you can't access it (if you're an invited reader) but because i haven't posted...lack of time.) Additionally, my scripture study is going to get better. More personal, more in depth, more thoughtful. Writing about how I feel about the scriptures, the gospel, and the blessings of the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in my life makes my heart happy.

And so, you'll probably be hearing more of my delights as I delight deeper, longer, and more sincerely in my scriptures.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

I delight in a different but wondrously rewarding Sunday.

2 years ago today--this happened.
I took this picture in Halifax and by the end of the day...I was in Utah.
Ranks as one of my least favorite days ever. It got better, then worse, then better, then worse, then better...well you know the ropes...its called life.
How has it been two years already?

The day thus far hasn't given me a lot of opportunity to reflect on that memorable day two years ago. But as I have been busy at work/my externship today, I haven't been able to stop thinking--what a wonderful two years it has been. It has been more than I ever thought it could be. The time I spent as a missionary in the Canada Halifax Mission has really been a springboard to good and great things.

Friday, January 13, 2012

I delight in my first week of externship!

This was a picture I took on my first day, walking into McKay-Dee Hospital.
Thanks to HIPAA and good common sense, there's not a lot I can tell you but I can tell you that I love what I get to do. I appreciate and feel privileged to have such a fantastic supervisor. I love the experiences I am having and all the things I am learning. I love that education is such a big part of what we get to do. However, by the end of my third full day, I started to get a little overwhelmed by all the new stuff. Needless to say, 2 days off have done me good.

Strength. Consistency. Flexibility. Prioritization. Not getting worked up.

I delight in another year with little sis!

this is the picture of our family that Christin painted for me. :)
you turn another year older tomorrow. 24 years we've spent together now.
today someone asked me if you were my daughter, this was not a first.
i could be offended and every time, i choose to be for a least a few minutes or so.
good thing you are literally happy in my day, everyday!

the cute quotes: "sis, i am so happy you are at out house. very, very, very happy." and "uh, this is not target!" and of course, "sis, my embow still is hurting" oh and, "sis, i need more kisses."

the way you know how to brighten my day: leaving me cute messages on my phone, quietly waiting for me to kiss you goodnight and then giggling when i get there, when you say, "hug me," when you ask me if i need a hug, when you declare us some "sister time" and when you remind me that i'm no fun when i have homework.

your loving disposition: you love everyone--our whole family (including the dogs). the love you have for order, skip-bo, and "gibbs, gibbs, gibbs."

the list can go on and on, but one thing is for sure...i'm so blessed to have you as my sister!!!
happy birthday lb!

Monday, January 9, 2012

I delight in "instead of classroom."

Today was the day I felt like I'd been waiting for all my life. I've loved my major since the moment I saw the purple paper 5 years ago. I loved it before then, I just didn't realize what my major was going to be yet. You see, 5 years ago about this time of year I decided I hated my "then" major of business. I still love business and love when people discover I am business savvy enough to discuss the basics. However, at the time I felt like that field was going to be too self-serving for me. I needed to focus in a different direction.

I then embarked on the journey that most freshmen students embark on--the search for a major. I remember going to various buildings on BYU campus and checking out their advisement centers. I took some "career tests" all of which told me I should look into service type careers which wasn't specific enough as I already knew that much. Ever since I was little I can always remember wanting a job where I "helped people." I met with various academic counselors but the day I wandered into the McKay Education building is the one I remember the most. I was looking at the "major/minor" flow charts to see what majors required in regards to classes. That's when I pulled out the purple paper labeled, "Speech Pathology and Audiology." I'd never before considered it as a major/job/future profession, even though I'd been exposed to it since I was little thanks to Craig and LB. In that instant, I knew that was my future. I signed up to talk with a counselor and told her that day I wanted to change my major--I think she thought I was a little rash and told me to think about it before officially declaring it but I insisted.

I remember when she told me I'd need a masters degree. That didn't excite me, it horrified me but I knew it was what I wanted to do enough that I thought...well I'll deal with that later.

Fast forward 5 years and I'm at the end of the road (well almost) in terms of schooling (at least for now ;). I've spent years in classrooms but today I was on the job. It was one of the most edifying, exhilarating days of my life. I was more excited than nervous--heck, I even ate breakfast this morning (that is saying something for a person whose nerves regularly get the best of them). Needless to say, it was a fantastic day. I met fantastic people. Have a absolutely fantastic supervisor. And honestly, I just feel so blessed. Blessed to be able to be here. Blessed to know what I know and to have had the path literally open up for me to be here. It is not a coincidence. I have seen the Lord's hand in it all every single step of the way.

Today felt like a checkpoint. One of those times when I really felt like, well Heavenly Father, I'm here. And it is like he says, that's right where you're supposed to be. I seek these moments of confirmation. Seek and ye shall find.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

I delight in the first day of my final semester!

Me on the last day of Winter Semester

I am super super excited that tomorrow I won't be sitting in a classroom. I won't even be in Salt Lake. I'll be in a hospital with a certified speech-language pathologist. I've always been a worrier but this time I'm more excited than worried. Here's to remembering all I've learned these past 4 semesters. Here's to tests and papers and clinic reports. Here's to moving on to the next level. Here's to showing what I know and learning what I need to know. Here's to humility and admitting when I don't know something. Here's to being brave. Here's to being flexible. Here's final semester of grad school!!!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Who are you gonna be?

Choices. Life is made of them. We make thousands of them every day. Each choice shapes our world and the experience we have here in a place called mortality.

Change. Another one of my favorite c words. I'm so grateful for change. The ability to change and to choose and accept change is one of the greatest blessings in life.

Commitment. This one became a buzz word of sorts for me as a missionary. It all started with a BYU article that changed my mission and changed my life for the better.

With these three c words in mind (the unplanned alliteration sneaks onto the scene) I pose the question, "who are you gonna be?" Life is not a game of chance, it is a game of choice and the choice is ours. (thank you Liz Craig) Tonight as I sat in a room with people I love dearly, I thought of the choices I had and as the spirit touched my heart, I knew that my choice was the same one it had always been because it was still the same choice and commitment I'd made a long time ago. I was also grateful for the ability to change because the people in the room were not the same as I'd known them so long ago, they'd changed, and gratefully, so had I. Later as I was reading an e-mail from a friend whom I also love dearly but had been out of touch with for some time, my heart ached as I read of the twists in her road. My heart was also enlivened however by the hope of her spirit and the choices she recognized she had and the chance/blessing she had to commit to good things and change for the better.

And so, in essence, I delight in the opportunity of another day. For the choice to change and to commit. Life is a blessing, its a gift we've been given. Let's make it a great day.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I delight in a delayed start.

You see, most of my classmates have started their externships for the semester. Some started last week, some started this week, but I don't start till Monday.

At one point today however, I thought to myself, "Self, it's time Christmas break was over. You've cleaned, rearranged, cooked, sewed, and taken pictures, you've studied for the praxis, caught up on your journal. You even made a rack to hang all your scarves on. You've also gone to the temple, played games with your family, hung out with some friends, visited the grandparents, and read some books." Yes, I've definitely enjoyed my "me time" break, taking care of all the odds and ends that never seemed to get done in 2011. Now however, I'm feeling the great urge to get back into my groove of being a speech language pathologist.

And so, next week--I'm ready for you to come!

However, until then, I'll enjoy the time I've got. :)

Sunday, January 1, 2012

I delight in a brand new year.

I brought the new year in with a bang. Literally. It is indeed me in that large coat and horrendous hat. But its an uzi in my hand--so that overrides and makes the entire picture amazing!

2011 is over and 2012 is here.

All 2011 I thought--this is the year of death. In retrospect, it was a year of comfort. For the most part at least. I spent the year doing 3 semesters of school, working in a safe clinic with supervisors watching most every move. I had colleagues who were also students who experienced this same steep learning curve. We did it together. We became family. 2012 leads me out into the big bold world. Oh the places I can go. First I venture into an externship next week. That means me, in a hospital with people who have conditions, diseases, disorders that I've never seen or heard of before and who are all over the board in regards to life circumstances, possibility for recovery, familial support, etc. Indeed, this is the year I step right on out of my comfort zone and take a swim (so to speak).

But it's a brand new year and that alone excites me. Stepping out of my comfort zone, as much as my stomach hates it, is exciting and keeps me progressing. There are lots of things I want to do this year, lots of accomplishments that will happen (graduation--hello?!?), and I'm sure a fair share of trials. But I'm in. I'm all in.

Here's to learning new things, making new friends, becoming a little more kind, more quick to observe and more diligent in doing the things I know I should. Here's to more service toward others, new opportunities and new experiences. Here's to keeping my family and friends near and dear but expanding the circle to develop new and quality relationships with others. Here's to laughing and loving more. Here's to running and hiking more. Here's to a year to remember.

I delight in 2011.

At the beginning of this year I was certain this was going to be the year of death and that I'd be lucky if I survived. But lo and behold, three semesters of grad school aka the most academically and mentally challenging year of my life has passed and I'm still here to tell the tale.

...::: Highlights from 2011 include :::...
--celebrating 1 year home from my mission--treating my very first client ever--
--social skills groups--attending ASHA--going to St. George/Zions/Kanab with my family--
--working with some of the most amazingly talented and educated supervisors ever--
--spending fall break in Disneyland with my Mom and LB--
--learning to love love love my ward and serve the dear sisters of the Ensign YSA ward--
--traveling to California 3 times in 1 year--sleeping the entire car ride to Rio Del Mar, CA--
--experiencing San Francisco understanding what they mean when it's said, "I left my heart in San Francisco."--secured 3 awesome externships for the upcoming semester--
--learned lots and lots of new lessons--ran a half marathon--met temple grandin in real life--
--finally went to the Cleveland Lloyd Dinosaur Quarry--went to the Vernal Temple---
--adventured in eastern utah with Mary--hiked Arches with Dad--
--ran the Island Park Stampede 5K--sewed a quilt of all my high school t-shirts--
--drew Christin another coloring book--got a 4.0 one semester--moved home (again)--
--celebrated grandpa's 90th birthday--experienced my second root canal--
--got a puppy (Ruby!)--interviewed for real jobs--blogged about my delights--
--went to the U2 concert with the Hewlett sisters--had both Craig and LB for sleepovers--
--got a sewing machine and sewed up a storm--shot an uzi--went to 3 new temples--
--got to see sister b and meet her husband--saw sister k in america--went to sister h's sealing--
--locked myself out of my house--shook elder oaks's hand--drank more diet coke than water--
--pulled out more creativity than ever before--received more blessings from serving a mission--
--spent outrageous amounts of time studying and skype studying with Mary--
--took tests--wrote papers--wrote reports--tested cute kids with CP

The list goes on, I just can't think of anymore. It has been a great year!