on this easter sunday

happy easter. i love easter, possibly more this year than ever before. while i always seem to get sick on easter/the week of easter (this year was no exception), it gives me more the opportunity to reflect on all the blessings in my life that i recognize because i know my savior lives.

holidays are an easy time to reflect back on my experience as a missionary. because it was such a precise day i remember exactly where i was, where i went and what experiences i had that day. as i awoke this morning and watched my favorite easter conference address none were with him, i remember watching it with an investigator the in middle of snowy miramichi. because easter had fallen on a sunday that year, my companion and i had been able to attend another denomination's easter service (because of the time delay, conference wasn't on till the afternoon). i remember thinking...but this holiday is about how he lives, not that he died. yes he died, and yes that is important too, but to me the most important thing is that he lives. 

as i have reflected on that fact, that he lives, i think of what that means in my life and how that empowers my life. i have read a few talks and things that have impressed me this week. recently i have been studying the subject of grieving and i guess this easter holiday its kind of all come together. i've studied mourning in the past as well, when the word occurs in the scriptures, the circumstances that surround it, the attitudes of the people, the perspectives reflected in the writing, commonalities, differences, etc. maybe elder holland and elder bowen say it best in their respective conference addresses (none were with him and "because i live, ye shall live also")

first, elder holland:

Brothers and sisters, one of the great consolations of this Easter season is that because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to do so. His solitary journey brought great company for our little version of that path—the merciful care of our Father in Heaven, the unfailing companionship of this Beloved Son, the consummate gift of theHoly Ghost, angels in heaven, family members on both sides of the veil, prophets and apostles, teachers, leaders, friends. All of these and more have been given as companions for our mortal journey because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the Restoration of His gospel. Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided, even if sometimes we may feel that we are. Truly the Redeemer of us all said: “I will not leave you comfortless: [My Father and] I will come to you [and abide with you].” ²⁰

My other plea at Easter time is that these scenes of Christ’s lonely sacrifice, laced with moments of denial and abandonment and, at least once, outright betrayal, must never be reenacted by us. He has walked alone once. Now, may I ask that never again will He have to confront sin without our aid and assistance, that never again will He find only unresponsive onlookers when He sees you and me along His Via Dolorosain our present day. As we approach this holy week—Passover Thursday with its Paschal Lamb, atoning Friday with its cross, Resurrection Sunday with its empty tomb—may we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear. This Easter week and always, may we stand by Jesus Christ “at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death,” ²¹ for surely that is how He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

and elder bowen:

I have learned that the bitter, almost unbearable pain can become sweet as you turn to your Father in Heaven and plead for His comfort that comes through His plan; His Son, Jesus Christ; and His Comforter, who is the Holy Ghost.

What a glorious blessing this is in our lives. Wouldn’t it be tragic if we didn’t feel great sorrow when we lose a child? How grateful I am to my Father in Heaven that He allows us to love deeply and love eternally. How grateful I am for eternal families. How grateful I am that He has revealed once again through His living prophets the glorious plan of redemption.

Remember as you attended the funeral of your loved one the feelings in your heart as you drove away from the cemetery and looked back to see that solitary casket—wondering if your heart would break.

I testify that because of Him, even our Savior, Jesus Christ, those feelings of sorrow, loneliness, and despair will one day be swallowed up in a fulness of joy. I testify that we can depend on Him and when He said:

“I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

“Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also.”⁵

I testify that, as stated in Preach My Gospel, “as we rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, He can help us endure our trials, sicknesses, and pain. We can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation. All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”⁶

I testify that on that bright, glorious morning of the First Resurrection, your loved ones and mine will come forth from the grave as promised by the Lord Himself and we will have a fulness of joy. Because He lives, they and we shall live also.

i have recently been reading a book by sister wendy ulrich called the temple experience, in the part i read yesterday she discussed the difference between being cured and being healed. i had never thought of those words in contrast but i immediately caught where she was headed. being cured refers to being brought back to how you once were; but being healed "involves a spiritual and emotional reweaving of our life story to incorporate, not merely remove, our injuries. it involves growth and personal change, maturation into a new state of deeper trust in god despite, not in the absence of, suffering. it includes acceptance of our lost innocence, while reaching toward greater wisdom (p. 8-9)."

the savior heals. he comes with compassion and he heals us. his atonement is all about making healing possible in our lives, regardless of the wrong we have done or that has been done to us. i know this to be true and that's why i am 100% confident in saying, as preach my gospel says, "all that is unfair about life can be made through the atonement of jesus christ."

let us be confident in our heavenly father's plan for all his children. let us utilize the atonement so we can trust jesus.

---------
none were with him, elder jeffery r holland
"because i live, ye shall live also, elder shayne m bowen
preach my gospel
the temple experience, wendy ulrich

I delight in mothering.

Earlier this week I had an interview--surprise surprise.  It is the story of my life as of late, but that is a story for another time.  Anyway, in this interview the interviewer asked if I had experience with infants.  I almost laughed, but I didn't. I responded that I had little to no experience with infants...and that's the truth.  Last night, I got to hold my dear friend Amanda's 5 week old baby boy.  I enjoyed it immensely, something that the rest of the frisbee team didn't seem to understand, but I didn't care...there's something miraculous about holding a baby...so new to this world and so small.  

I was thinking about an experience I had a while ago.  I was 18, in high school and new to attending relief society.  It was a welcome adventure given the fact that I was the only girl my age in my ward, and I was over the drama some of my younger friends in the young womens group.  In my church, when you turn 18 and then for the rest of forever, you belong to the relief soceity, the worlds largest womens society.  As a part of this group, you are asked to visit particular sisters within your congregation (or as we call it, your ward).  My visiting parter was my mom and we were assigned to a couple of sisters in our ward who had small families.  We had visited one for a while who was pregnant and when her baby finally arrived, we stopped by there soon after to drop off some dinner and see how baby and mom were doing.  This sweet sister invited us in immediately, to which my mom declined (because she didn't want our germs near a new baby) but this sister insisted.  She showed me where to wash my hands, sat me on her couch and handed her sweet 6 day old son to me.  She told me that holding a newborn is an experience every young woman needed.  

I've thought about what she told me from time to time, but for a long time I wasn't sure the experience had much of an impact on me.  Now...years later, I am beginning to see.  

With Mother's Day last week I've been thinking a lot this week about the important role of mothers and how it is something most all women are preparing for regardless of life circumstances.  As such, thoughts often cross my mind like--oh that is so important to teach kids or when I have kids, I'm not going to do that, you get the picture right?  So when I ran across this list, I knew I had to read it, think about it, save it, and remember it for a time when its content would be more applicable to my life.  As a kid I wanted all these things so much so I really think there is validity to it--that's why I'm sharing it with you. 

The Top Ten Things Kids Really Want Their Parents To Do With Them

1. Come into my bedroom at night, tuck me in and sing me a song. Also tell me stories about when you were little.
2. Give me hugs and kisses and sit and talk with me privately.
3. Spend quality time just with me, not with my brothers and sisters around.
4. Give me nutritious food so I can grow up healthy.
5. At dinner talk about what we could do together on the weekend.
6. At night talk to me about about anything; love, school, family etc.
7. Let me play outside a lot.
8. Cuddle under a blanket and watch our favorite TV show together.
9. Discipline me. It makes me feel like you care.
10. 10. Leave special messages in my desk or lunch bag.

The above text I found from Here.

I delight in Commitment.

On my brain since Thursday...commitment.

It just so happened, my Mom sent me 1 BYU magazine while I was on my mission.  This article was in it and I knew there must have been a reason.  This talk changed my perspective in a lot of ways.  I began to learn what whole-souled commitment really was and why it was so critical and important for each of us.  I began to desire it for myself and desire it for those around me. 

And so, please enjoy. 

*I have bolded parts that stood out to me (sans the headings which were already bolded).

DRAWING LINES OF COMMITMENT
By Sarah Ingram Westerberg (MPA ’01)

As we make whole-souled commitments, we draw lines we will not cross. 

When I first came to this land, I quickly learned that a number of everyday words had different meanings here. Biscuits became cookies, petrol became gas, and chips became fries. It was through my work with a group of wonderful student employees in the tutoring program that I was introduced to a new meaning of the word flaky. Previously, I had come across this word only in connection with the qualities of pastry or piecrust. But my student employees used it to describe a fellow student. When I asked for clarification about this use of the word, they explained that flaky meant that someone was unreliable, someone who did not keep
commitments.

We have all observed flakiness in some form or other, whether it’s when someone gets stood up for a date, when someone takes a different job two weeks after committing to work for a whole semester, or when someone chooses not to keep sacred covenants and takes a path different than the one the Savior would have us choose. Whatever the degree, flakiness is the antithesis of commitment.

Commitment, in its most basic form, is doing what you say you will do. Elder F. Burton Howard said of commitment:

The Church does have many needs, and one of them is for more people who will just do what they have agreed to do. People who will show up for work and stay all day; who will quietly, patiently, and consistently do what they have agreed to do—for as long as it takes—and who will not stop until they have finished. [“Commitment,” Ensign, May 1996, pp. 27–28]

Whether your commitments are in the form of promises, pledges, covenants, callings, contracts, or simply your word of honor, they must be kept. Whether they are commitments that are spiritual, legal, or seemingly trivial and temporal, they must be kept. Karl G. Maeser’s statement about chalk circles demonstrates the importance of keeping our commitments well.  He said: I have been asked what I mean by my word of honor. I will tell you. Place me behind prison walls—ever so high, ever so thick, reaching ever so far into the ground—there is a possibility that in some way or another I will escape; but stand me on a floor and draw a chalk line around me and have me give my word of honor never to cross it. Can I get out of the circle? No. Never! I would die first! [In Alma P. Burton, Karl G. Maeser: Mormon Educator (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1953), p. 71]

In an increasingly flaky world, it seems that the word commitment has been progressively modified such that, in many contexts, it no longer resembles what it used to mean. More and more I hear people seeking to justify breaking a commitment. They say, “I have to do what is right for me” or “I am just too tired” or, especially, “I am just too busy.” We hear people talk of casual, partial, or half-hearted commitment. But anything less than complete, absolute, or total commitment is as bad as no commitment at all.

Achieving total commitment may seem daunting. I hope these six basic principles will be both useful and inspirational as you strive to keep your commitments in all areas of your life.

Know Your Commitments

A faculty friend of mine recently told me that she had asked her class to list the commitments they had made. She was met with blank stares and silence. The students needed help to articulate the commitments they had made. It is difficult to think about keeping commitments if you aren’t really sure what you have committed to do. She posed the question again and then prompted the students by saying, “OK, let’s start with baptismal covenants.” Then they began to realize that they have many commitments, and many in common.

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have committed to take upon us Christ’s name. This should completely change every thought we have and every action we take. We recommit every Sunday, through the ordinance of the sacrament, to always remember Him. As we attend the temple we make additional covenants to do the Lord’s will.

At BYU we commit to keep the Honor Code. Many of us have committed to serve in callings in our various wards and stakes. Other commitments may include attending the weekly devotional in the Marriott Center, being on time for work or class, reading the Book of Mormon daily, or praying morning and night.

Know what commitments you have made and reflect upon them often. Ask the Lord to help you keep them in the forefront of your mind.

Decide Now

We must decide now to keep our commitments. Then, when faced with a temptation or an opportunity to compromise, we will not waver, because the decision was already made.  Great strength comes from commitments that are made well in advance. The Savior was constantly trying to strengthen His disciples, to help them develop commitment patterns, because He knew what trials and challenges they would face after He was gone. At one point He told them, “Settle this in your hearts, that ye will do the things which I shall teach, and command you” (JST Luke 14:28). The Savior was encouraging His disciples to decide now.

My husband and I are committed to rearing our children in the gospel, and part of that commitment involves holding family home evening. We have already decided that we will have family home evening every Monday night, and so when our 4-year-old, William, inevitably answers the call to come to family home evening with the suggestion, “Let’s play lightsabers instead,” we are not swayed or moved because we already decided to have family home evening.

Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “Have you made the commitment to do anything the Lord asks, and are you disciplined enough to fulfill that commitment, even at a time that may not be particularly opportune or pleasant?” (“The Power of Commitment,” New Era, November 1989, p. 6). Commitment is never to be postponed for convenience or pleasure. It is easier to keep commitments when we decide before we reach the crisis point, before the critical mass of peer pressure occurs.

Follow the Master

The scriptures are replete with examples of ancient prophets and leaders who kept their commitments in the face of great adversity and trials. Nephi built a ship without any prior shipbuilding experience because he had committed to do whatever the Lord asked of him. The Anti-Nephi-Lehies, parents of the 2,000 stripling warriors, kept their commitments, even though it meant that many of them would be killed and that their sons would be sent to battle. The sons of Mosiah were committed to preaching the gospel to the Lamanites, even though it was dangerous work. Joseph resisted the advances of Potiphar’s wife and kept himself morally clean, even though it meant being thrown into prison.

The quintessential example of commitment, however, is our Savior, Jesus Christ. His devotion to His Father was perfect and complete, and He was totally committed to doing the Father’s will in all things. President Howard W. Hunter said: We must keep the commandments of our Lord. If we can pattern our life after the Master, and take His teaching and example as the supreme pattern for our own, we will not find it difficult to be temple worthy, to be consistent and loyal in every walk of life, for we will be committed to a single, sacred standard of conduct and belief. [“The Great Symbol of Our Membership,”Ensign, October 1994, p. 5]

Early in 2002 my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. A few days later, my husband was also diagnosed with cancer. These were dark, difficult days for us. It would have been easy to have done as the devil tempted Job to do—to curse God, ignore our commitments to the Lord and to others, and wallow in despair. However, even when our circumstances change, our commitment to the Lord must not change. There is no sliding scale. We cannot get a rain check or opt out from our commitments, even for a time. We must stay on track and be lifted up by Jesus’ example.

Even though our individual circumstances differ, our commitments to the Lord are never situational; they do not change depending on the level of stress or joy we may be experiencing in our lives. Whether it is through defining moments of great trial or during seemingly subtle and quiet moments of reflection, making a commitment is a sacred act, an act that reflects what is divine in us. President Marion G. Romney said, “I . . . believe that the most effective way to get on course and to stay on course is to do as Jesus did: make a total commitment to do the will of His Father” (“Commitment and Dedication,” Ensign, March 1983, p. 5).

Set Realistic Goals and Endure

Once we are committed to following the Master, then a good way to make progress with our commitments is to set realistic goals. My sister volunteers at a family history center and has commented that many people are full of enthusiasm and energy when they come to search for their ancestors but leave disheartened because they are not able to identify all of their forebearers in a single session. Their commitment to redeeming the dead can be relatively short-lived. Setting realistic goals assists in fulfilling commitments and thus in enduring to the end. Whether we write a list of goals or keep them in our mind, we need to set goals that are reasonable and achievable and that will help us to keep our commitments in the long run.

We often hear of people who have “commitment issues,” people who don’t endure. Generally, these issues are in the context of a relationship, but it is an idea with broader application. Do we have spiritual commitment issues? With the Lord, all things are spiritual, thus there are no commitments that can be deemed “simply temporal.” When we keep our commitments, we draw closer to the Lord and come closer to becoming the person we need to be to endure through eternity. What may initially appear to be temporal is, in actuality, a training ground for things eternal. The companion of commitment keeping is enduring to the end. Because we are children of God, our commitments are eternal.

Anticipate Opposition

Keeping our commitments is something we must do daily, no matter what the day might bring. Through both the clouds and the sunshine of life, we must be committed. Many will keep their commitments only until the clouds appear, only until it becomes awkward, painful, expensive, unpopular, inconvenient, unfashionable, or politically incorrect. But we must be steadfast and immovable (see Mosiah 5:15). Elder Marvin J. Ashton said:

A truly committed person does not falter in the face of adversity. Until one is committed, there is a chance to hesitate, to go off in another direction, or to be ineffective. Members within our ranks who are committed to living the gospel of Jesus Christ will not be affected by the rationale of hecklers. [“‘The Word Is Commitment,’” Ensign, November 1983, p. 62]

The adversary uses discouragement to get us to break our commitments. Robert the Bruce, King of Scotland in the 13th century and an ancestor of mine, learned a great lesson after having been defeated in battle. While hiding from his enemies in a cave for several months and being at the lowest, darkest point in his life, he observed a spider trying to spin its web. The spider fell down again and again as it tried to construct the web but persevered and eventually succeeded. Bruce came to the realization that he must try, try again, and he too was eventually successful.

A further type of opposition we may experience is having friends who are lax or casual in their approach to their commitments and who minimize the extent of their obligations. Elder Neal A. Maxwell said: [Some] members accept callings but not all of the accompanying responsibilities. . . . While casual members are not unrighteous, they often avoid appearing to be too righteous by seeming less committed than they really are—an ironic form of hypocrisy” (“Settle This in Your Hearts,” Ensign,November 1992,

pp. 65, 66).

The natural man is typically another opponent of commitment keeping, which is why our prophets and apostles speak so often of self-mastery. It takes great strength and discipline to be fully committed to all that is required. The cultural tides in our world run strongly against commitments of any kind.

Reap the Blessings

When we put our whole heart into our commitments and covenants with God, the blessings will extend far beyond our spiritual selves and will strengthen all aspects of our lives.

When my mother was baptized a member of the Church in 1964, she could not drive, and the local branch met in a drafty building across town. She had to take several buses to get to and from church twice each Sunday. One cold, snowy night as she waited to catch the bus home, the missionaries passed by and told her that if she would keep her commitments to the Lord and continue to live the gospel, in the future it would be easier for her to get to church. Several years later, my mother passed her driving test. Soon afterward, the members worked hard to build a meetinghouse about a five-minute drive away from our home. What a marvelous blessing it was for my mother to be able to get to meetings so easily.

President Henry B. Eyring described great learners as people who keep commitments:

Any community functions better when people in it keep their promises to live up to its accepted standards. But for a learner and for a community of learners, that keeping of commitments has special significance. . . .The Latter-day Saints who see themselves in all they do as children of God take naturally to making and keeping commitments. The plan of salvation is marked by covenants. We promise to obey commandments. In return, God promises blessings in this life and for eternity. He is exact in what He requires, and He is perfect in keeping His word. Because He loves us and because the purpose of the plan is to become like Him, He requires exactness of us. And the promises He makes to us always include the power to grow in our capacity to keep covenants. He makes it possible for us to know His rules. When we try with all our hearts to meet His standards, He gives us the companionship of the Holy Ghost. That in turn both increases our power to keep commitments and to discern what is good and true. And that is the power to learn, both in our temporal studies and in the learning we need for eternity. [“A Child of God,” 1997–98 Speeches, pp. 46–47]

My mother was committed to raising her children in the gospel. Just one example of her commitment to this ideal was an activity that happened every morning in our family. In the Ingram family we called it “morning service,” and it involved a hymn, a family prayer, and scripture reading at 7:30 a.m. each day. Regardless of what else might be going on that day, we always had morning service—every single day. I am ever grateful to my mother for her tenacity in keeping her commitment to raise up a righteous posterity even when her children were not always terribly congenial about having to get out of bed for scripture study. Her commitment has made a difference in my life. I know the scriptures better because of morning service. Those blessings extend through future generations and continue to bless my family as I teach my children the gospel by reading the scriptures with them.

Whole-Souled Commitment

Let’s keep the flakiness in the kitchen. Let us be more fully aware of our commitments; decide now to keep them; follow the Master in our approach to our commitments; set realistic goals to help us endure in our commitments; anticipate the opposition that will come; and reap the blessings, both temporal and eternal, that flow to those who faithfully keep commitments.

Commitment to God’s laws is the basis of peace in this life. President Howard W. Hunter said: A successful life, the good life, the righteous Christian life requires something more than a contribution, though every contribution is valuable. Ultimately it requires commitment—whole-souled, deeply held, eternally cherished commitment to the principles we know to be true in the commandments God has given. [“Standing As Witnesses of God,” Ensign, May 1990, p. 62]

“Whole-souled, deeply held, and eternally cherished commitment”—these are words to live by.

---

Sarah Westerberg is associate dean of students at BYU. This is adapted from a devotional address given on Dec. 2, 2008.http://magazine.byu.edu/?act=view&a=2388&p=3479

I delight in allowance.

Today I got some pretty thrilling news.  I passed my last class of grad school AND I had a pretty fantastic job interview with a verbal job offer!  As a result of these two events, I have been thinking about all sorts of new things today that made me really excited.

After a while, I thought, "Wow, all these thoughts are making me so happy!  Why wasn't I thinking about these things before?"  And that's when it occurred to me, I couldn't/didn't allow myself think these things until I 1) Knew my grade was good enough to graduate (because I'm a worrier about all things legit and not so much) and 2) Had a pretty secure job offer.  Now that I have both those things, I have finally allowed myself to think beyond what I have been letting myself think of (the aforementioned 1 and 2).  I have not been thinking about actually working as an SLP (for money with benefits), moving, shopping, traveling, or any of those things that I am now allowing myself to think of since I know in due time its all going to finally come around.  So many good options are out there!  I'm so excited!

Since this "ah-ha" I have been debating whether my' waiting to allow myself to divulge in these thoughts of the future' was a good thing.  Not that I can change it, I think its just how I handle such situations.  However I now hope I am able to face things with a much needed different perspective, especially since real life is ahead, facing me full on.

And so, here's to what is ahead.
Here's to allowing myself to look to the future with hope and not reservation.
Here's to great adventures of all sorts.  There are still a lot of decisions to be made, but that's not the part I'm worried about.  Prayer works.  Trying on decisions is the way I've figured a lot of things in the past and I'm grateful for God's consistency of character in allowing me to recognize Him in the ways I always have.

Life begins at the intersection.

I delight in integration.

"Pondering often precedes contentment."

During a Sunday School discussion of 2 Nephi 31-33, the same word kept coming to mind.

Integrate.

As a "Graduate Student SLP" I have spent a bit of time working on thought integration with patients. Particularly those with right CVAs (or cerebral vascular accidents, otherwise known as a stroke). These discussions are usually quite challenging because thought integration is something typically severely impacted in a right CVA injury. Essentially, it is what it sounds like, integrating all the pieces of the information to complete a thought, idea or concept of a particular subject.

For example: if you saw a picture of a woman, a table set for 2, pots and pans on the stove and a clock that read 6:00, you could reasonably conclude (often without really even thinking about it) that this is a picture of a woman likely waiting for another person to arrive so they could eat dinner together. They're having something hot for dinner because the food is on the stove. Additionally, you could probably also assume that she was waiting for her husband to get home from work to share the meal she has prepared.

Easy enough for you and I, but for others this can and is extremely challenging.

Integration. We do so much of it automatically. But what about the times when we don't integrate what we see and know with our actions and our attitudes.

I think Nephi's final message and plea is for us, the readers of his words, to integrate the teachings of the doctrine of Christ into our lives in so much that it changes the way we act, the things we do, and the way we view ourselves and our relationship with our Savior Jesus Christ.

To integrate, we have to read beyond merely what is written on a page. We must ponder. We must apply. We must assimilate what is being said to us--our day, our life, and our individual situation. Hence, the quote above, "pondering often precedes contentment."

When we have taken the time to ponder a concept and integrate it--apply it to us to the point that it could be reality--then we can be more easily be content with our current situation and remain hopeful about the good things we know are to come. Knowing, understanding, and integrating the doctrine of Christ as found in 2 Nephi 31-33 can help make this a reality for us.

***Post inspired by the talk: Content with the Things Allotted Unto Us by Elder Neal A. Maxwell, Member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, given April 2000.

I delight in remembering.

source

What a day. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by how hard some peoples lives are. It's the nature of my job to see lots of people in lots of circumstances in life. Most of the time they've gone through something traumatic. A stroke, an accident, the list goes on and on. For some, life will never be the same. We talk about things in terms of "the new normal" i.e. what they and their families will need to adjust to as being the new way it is. Coping with "new normals" is not an easy task.

I'm still working on not bringing work home. Right now, I can't help it. My heart aches for these people, their families, the lives changed and affected by usually a split second occurrence.

Over the weekend, I ran across this magnificent magnet at Deseret Book. "Remember who you are, otherwise they'll take you to the hospital and check for brain injuries." I took an instant liking to it because I work with people with brain injuries. The words served a more important purpose in standing as a reminder of the bigger picture...who we really are.

Really, we're all spiritual beings having an earthly experience, not to be confused with the other way around. This means that we are spiritual beings, or children of God first, and everything else second. This eternal identity viewed from an eternal perspective helps to keep the trials of life constrained to their proper place... stepping stones to further growth and attainment (a little paraphrasing from this talk by Elder Scott).

This perspective thing is truly easier said than done. While I'd like to think that I maintain this mindset all the time...I don't. There are days and times when it seems that the here and now consumes me. Yesterday was one of those days. But I need those times too. I need the opportunity to learn again and remember again the things I know deep down. Each time I like to think that my testimony of the need for a Savior and his continuous Atonement grows just a little. Each time I am reminded how grateful I am for the possibility for change. For the knowledge of the resurrection. For the blessings of tomorrows which bring new outlooks on life--full of hope and possibility, growth and progression--however much or however little it may be. I delight in remembering the whole picture, the whole purpose, the whole meaning, the whole possibility, and the whole plan.

I delight in looking at life through heaven's eyes.

through heaven's eyes, from the movie, prince of egypt

performed by brian stokes mitchell and the mormon tabernacle choir

Music is one of life's greatest inspirations. Last week, I listened to my first Christmas music of the season. I couldn't help myself. As my favorite season of Fall winds to an end (although it is not over until after Thanksgiving, but the leaves aren't looking quite the same these days)--I can't help but give a listen to the most inspiring music of the year.

Although, this song is not necessarily a Christmas song, the year Brian Stokes Mitchell sang with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir for the Christmas Concert, this song fit perfectly with the program (it came right after the Friendly Beasts--another fantastic one).

As I drove this evening I listened to this song a handful of times. Each time it ended, my heart felt so good, uplifted, and happy. What a great reminder, "look at your life through heaven's eyes."

And so...listen to this fantastic song, read the lyrics and be inspired.

A single thread in a tapestry
Through its color brightly shine
Can never see its purpose
In the pattern of the grand design

And the stone that sits on the very top
Of the mountains mighty face
Does it think its more important
Than the stones that form the base?

So how can you see what your life is worth
Or where your value lies?
You can never see through the eyes of man
You must look at your life

Look at your life through heavens eyes
Lai-la-lai...

A lake of gold in the desert sand
Is less than a cool fresh spring
And to one lost sheep, a shepherd boy
Is greater than the richest king
If a man lose everything he owns
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning
Of a new and brighter birth?

So how do you measure the worth of a man
In wealth or strength or size?
In how much he gained or how much he gave?
The answer will come
The answer will come to him who tries
To look at his life through heavens eyes

And thats why we share all we have with you
Though theres little to be found
When all youve got is nothing
Theres a lot to go around

No life can escape being blown about
By the winds of change and chance
And though you never know all the steps
You must learn to join the dance
You must learn to join the dance
Lai-la-lai...

So how do you judge what a man is worth
By what he builds or buys?
You can never see with your eyes on earth
Look through heavens eyes
Look at your life
Look at your life
Look at your life through heaven's eyes

I delight in an attitude adjustment.

Sometimes, I am way too short sighted. I forget what's beyond the setting sun, a new day full of hope.

Today I went about my business. Studying like mad for an exam that had me all worked up. I finally took the test and well it just wasn't worth being worked up about. You'd think that I would have learned this lesson by now.

As I was driving home after the test, still feeling quite crappy actually (lack of restful sleep, tired body, fried brain) I decided that instead of grocery shopping--I would pick up some Rio for dinner. As I got in line, my heart strings got a little tug. The man in front of me in line stood there ordering and I stood there trying not to stare at him. He couldn't be much older than I, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt--nothing abnormal in that. But then there was the mask, the baldness, the bandaged arm--he was in chemo treatments. As I thought about life, our lives specifically, I thought about how each of us has our own individual 'challenges' or 'hard thing.' It appears in such different forms in our individual lives. I remember once when a friend insulted one of my "hard things" by saying that he could never do it. I was offended by this because in that instant I realized that 'hard' was not synonymous with 'absolutely terrible, awful, no good, very always bad', in fact maybe everyone should experience this 'hard thing' because of the way it had changed me and the way I think about other people.

In a way, maybe sometimes, just sometimes, we almost become partial to our hard thing. When we realize its source and its power to make us better people as we work to deal/overcome and even conquer it...there in lies the power.

This morning I read from the book of Joshua, first chapter. In that chapter the Lord calls Joshua to do a hard thing--take over for Moses in leading the children of Israel. The Lord tells Joshua in verse 5, "...I will not fail thee nor forsake thee." Again and again throughout the chapter the Lord reminds Joshua to "be strong and of a good courage." I think the Lord reminds us of this as we go about as spiritual beings in a physical world. Once a good friend taught me the following lesson. I guess the scriptures were telling it to me all along. In 1 Corinthians 10:13, we are taught, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man, but God is faithful and will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able but wherewith the temptation also make a way to escape that ye may be able to bear it." Isn't it so great that the Lord told us that he would never give us more than we can bear? He knows all the power that is available to help us along the way because he is the power. We are weak but he is strong.

Let us delight in the little things. The main lesson of all of this essentially is that with spiritual eyes, we can see such a better and clearer picture of the experiences of mortality. Let us look beyond the setting sun to the Son of God who prepared the way for us to be refined by life's hard experiences, not damned because of them.

I delight in the whole plan.

I'd heard it from Sister Oaks once, but I needed to hear it again. (Experience it here.)

When we came to earth, the plan of salvation or as I prefer to call it, the great plan of happiness was the plan we signed on for. Fortunately for us it is not a partial plan--it is a whole plan, an eternal plan. You signed up for the whole plan!

It is important to remember this 'whole plan' idea so we don't get lost in all the small moments. Earlier today, I was feeling very behind. It seemed to me that everyone around me was/is moving on to all sorts of great, new adventures. Adventures I might be a little jealous of as I currently find myself far removed from their various situations in life. As my day progressed and I spent time at the Children's Center, wrapping my arms around sweet children, ever in need of love and then later with an inspiring client of mine, I felt my heart being softened and my horizon being widened.

"Why should you mourn or think your lot is hard? Tis' not so, all is right."

This is one of my favorite hymns--Come, Come Ye Saints. Whenever I hear it, I think about my Grandma Bandley. You see, I used to play the organ for her. Now I am not an organ player--at all. But when she was in later stages of Alzheimer's Disease, I would stay with her while Grandpa ran errands. I had 2 choices--answer the same questions over and over and over regarding when "Daddy" was going to be home and where he went or play the organ. I did a bit of both, but I began to love plunking out my favorite hymns by ear. Surprisingly one day, as I played Come, Come Ye Saints, Grandma said the words at the end, "All is well. All is well."

She had not spoken my name in 2 years but she remembered the words to a hymn? As I have long considered this--what I claim as--a special tender moment in my life and the value of trials--I continue to recognize that each of our paths to eternity is different but is it SO different from the next? The way we "live the plan" and our individual experiences are different--but the principles, the virtues, the lessons, the faith required, the qualities--essentially they're the same. They make us stretch and grow, they make us uncomfortable sometimes as our situation can seem so far removed from those around us. But never fear--you signed up for the whole plan. Elder Jeffery R. Holland said it best when he said,

"Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don’t come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come."

And so, as another piece of 'my path' worked out today, I became humbled knowing that He sees all the things that I can't see and He knows better than I how it will all play out. Yay for the whole plan!!!

I delight in the process.

picture from here

Right now, I'm consumed in writing a research paper--because I have procrastinated it. I haven't meant to procrastinate it, I've just enjoyed doing all the research. I keep finding more and more interesting articles that I just want to read and think about. Call me a dork or call me a passionate grad student, I don't really mind. Either way, I'm enjoying writing this research paper (minus the fear I have about not being 'creative' or citing my research in correct APA style since both of these things are in the grading criteria and I'm not feeling confident about either of them.

My paper is about Autism: Predictors in Adult Outcome. I chose this subject for personal reasons since Craig is in the adult category. I wanted to know if there were better answers about expectations parents can have for the future. Honestly, transitions are hard for people with autism (right Craig?). Change is just not his favorite thing unless its good change of course. But the transition from school life to non-school life is rough but do-able. As a one day/soon-to-be professional (meaning I have a degree and experience--however little experience that is...it'll be a start), anyway, I want to have answers for parents or at least a direction to point them in, resources to go to, possibilities to prepare for rather than the abyss of the future.

More on my paper later when I've actually drawn some more substantial conclusions in a more 'share-able' form--not that you're interested however I delight in autism so you hear about it a lot!

Anyhow, this week is about my Mom and yesterday she was super kind. She dug up the past, something she doesn't like to do. There is a reason that we keep lots of stuff piled in front of filing cabinets that hold documents from the past and that reason is because its in the past.

Remember how in the Lion King, there's a whole part about Simba and Rafiki where Rafiki is trying to get Simba to shape up and remember who he is. He knocks him on the head and Simba says, 'what did you do that for?' to which Rafiki replies, 'it doesn't matta, its in the past.' And so that's the view my Mom has taken in life...Whatever the past has been, you have a spotless future (kind of goes with yesterdays lesson huh?). However, there is something about looking to the pat and seeing how far you've come! Its a fantastic experience and yesterday as I read old papers--wow...progress! Being able to get far enough ahead to see with clarity what's really happened and how far you've really come is a variable amount of time, but its only a matter of time none-the-less.

I delight in a new day.

I'm stubborn by nature. I'm not saying I am permanently stubborn--its just the characteristic that always wants to come out first. This is no surprise to my family as they've been dealing with my stubborn-ness since birth.

Sometimes I resent my mothers favorite saying (regardless of how true it really is):

"Tomorrow is a new day." She likes to remind me of this when I'm frustrated, tired, upset, fill in negative emotion here--its her solution is a new day.

In my heart I give this statement more validity than what comes out of my mouth in response to my mother. In fact, I believe on countless occasions I've passed this advice on to others.

A fresh start, a clean slate--we all need it. Enter the Atonement of Jesus Christ which requires an enlightened perspective on our part. We must believe that better days are to come, that happiness is a choice and that we don't have to get stuck in the same sticky/frustrating messes everyday because of our ability to choose.

Back to Mom, today is the start of her birthday week. This week I'm going to try my hardest to really think about all the lessons my mom has taught me and share them here. For my mom to find strength in the fact that 'tomorrow is a new day' is a big deal because while my life is very transitory and changes in big ways each semester and in effect each day as different deadlines and specific stressors come and go, her life largely stays the same.

Being a mom is a full-time job but her calling is compounded by two children that depend on her entirely for their transportation, shopping, cooking, cleaning, healthcare (enter shot-giving/blood check and gluten-free meal making) and entertainment...the list goes on and on.

She takes it in stride, finds joy in the journey and doesn't seek the attention (positive or negative) from others who have no idea what her daily life is like but feel the need to make uninformed comments and reflections on what life must be like for her.

And so, today I delight that its a new day. And I'm grateful for a mother who taught me this valuable lesson in so many ways.

On this beautiful Sunday morning it reminds me of the line from a hymn: "There is hope smiling brightly before us; and we know that deliverance is nigh."

I delight in feelings.

"How do you feel about all these men's pictures on the walls?" a woman from the Netherlands asked. I was caught off guard and my answer was delayed. But then it came to me..."The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world."

I'd never distinctly thought about how I felt about the actual pictures on the walls. For most of my seminary life the same 15 pictures hung on the wall. The photographs of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints hang on the walls of every seminary and institute classroom. That means that for years, everyday or now, every week I look at these pictures. With this woman's question, I was forced to think about what I think about when I see these pictures, how do I feel?

Answer? I feel inspired, uplifted, and blessed.

As the conversation with the Dutch woman continued without me I wandered this wall of pictures, looking at each individually. I stopped at Elder Scott and I think the eyes of his painting penetrated my soul. I recognized the emotion as reverence and respect. Not only for the counsel I have received his voice (and all the other general authorities of the church) but for the lives they have lead to warrant such trust from the Lord. You see a valuable lesson I learned once is that God does love all his children, but he trusts them differently. These men have remained true to the trust all of their lives.

Concurrently I recognized that behind every good man in each of those paintings was an equally good wife as well as a wonderful mother. As I listened to the testimony of my mother, my roommate and the tour guide of the power and respect they personally feel as women in the church my heart resonated with their words.

I personally have always found great power in being counted as a female member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We are blessed to have great influence in so many ways, as revered wives and mothers, teachers of the children and the young women, leaders in many callings and service positions. I have found purpose, direction, and empowerment as a Latter-day Saint woman in a time when the world degrades the eternal purposes of womanhood.

And so today, I share with you the feelings of my heart. I am grateful for the gospel in my life. I'm grateful to be where and who I am. The pictures of the 'men' are near and dear to my heart for each has taught me an invaluable lessons with the most paramount being that Jesus Christ lives. His church is again restored on the earth and is available to all God's children.