I delight in believing.

I've been reading in the Book of Alma in the Book of Mormon. I'm currently in Alma 33:20. Alma is explaining to the people about prophets of old, and about faith when he brings in one of my favorite stories--Moses raising up a serpent...and all those who looked...lived. And those who would not look perished.  Alma adds this insight: "Now the reason they would not look is because they did not believe that it would heal them (Alma 33: 20)." 

I'm lead to ask myself this question:

What am I not doing, simply because I don't believe it will help me? In those areas, I need to examine my faith. In some respects, I'm forced to stop before the comma and ask myself: What am I not doing?  And add this...That I know I should be doing? And then add this...Am I not doing it because I don't believe it will help me?

There are always those things that even though I know I should do them, I don't for whatever reason.  But what is the reason?  And why wouldn't I do all the things that I know that will help me live a happy, productive, fulfilled life?  Is it because I have not developed the faith to believe they will help me and ultimately heal me?  

As I ponder this, I think about my relationship with prayer. While I pray almost constantly, in my mind, in my thoughts, I have always had the most difficult time getting on my knees at the beginning of the day and starting my day with prayer.  It makes no sense to me and sometimes I think Heavenly Father must just think...how did she miss this foundational step?  I don't know. I do know and believe that prayer is something so good and so important to me and to my relationship with my Heavenly Father.  I know its a commandment. But...alas, my knees hitting the floor first thing...does not happen as consistently as it should. 

But, Alma goes on to teach one of my favorite lessons that always gives me such hope for the future, for repentance, for change...

"And even all this can ye do, if ye will (Alma 33: 23)."

There's a choice. And everyday I can change my choices. *Beautiful isn't it?* It is in my power to change my actions and it is within the Lord's every desire, hope and ability that we will make those changes and choose Him. 

Look and live.