Update to the basement: The upside is that its now dry (3 turbo fans and a dehumidifier later). The downside is that they found mold on a baseboard and had to cut two holes in my drywall. Still carpet-less. Still frustrated with my insurance.
Update to the windows: I got new windows this week! That was a pre-planned event but man alive...it was messy! My house was in chaos...and when you add in the water mitigator showing up...I may have just about lost it! Holes and hammering upstairs, holes and hammering downstairs...minorly overwhelming. But the windows are all in, the house is all cleaned and the light in the daytime without the accompanying "breeze" is a definite win!
Update to the work: Work is work. I don't really blog about it but man alive, I work with some really awesome people! I'm so blessed to get to do what I do!
Update to the fam: My dad has saved my life this week! Besides monitoring the window chaos and the water chaos, he stayed upstairs...while I hermited downstairs in the "less chaos." He also stayed and helped me clean up (he's got major vacuuming skills), took me to costco, bought me dinner and helped himself to completing a number of random house projects. What would I do without my dad?!?!?
Update to the spirit: Me and my scriptures had some really great times this week. I am so grateful for the role of the scriptures in my life and for the powerful re-charge the scriptures provide!
Update to the house projects: I found a curtain rod for my bedroom and ordered some curtains. I love that they won't impede my view...because I love my view! Still looking for an ottoman...why do I love putting my feet up?!? I still need to put the craft room back together again. One step at a time.
Update in the self-care: I made turkey pot pie, wandered world market, sat down and read a book and did my monthly review.
___________________________
One of my biggest delights of the day was when I unearthed a number of lessons learned//daily delight documents. I started compiling them all together into a master list. Each line was like a precious gem of learning that happened at a critical time in my life. Man alive...it did my heart a world of good! I also found a ton of goal pages for the past 10 years. What a happy discovery. I loved reviewing the past and examining the present.
Sunday, January 31, 2016
perceptions and reality
my view of my parent's mountain
(see far mountain with the sun on the eastern face)
my parents view of their mountain
Of the same thing.
Although, you'd never guess it!
From my perspective, it was the perfect winter day. A peaceful early morning. I had a beautiful view of the valley as I took down my blinds for day two of window installation. I couldn't help but gaze northward for a view of my "home mountain" Ben Lomond. The sun was just rising illuminating its face. It was incredibly beautiful. It calmed my heart and turned my thoughts heavenward.
Then my dad called. He said he was concerned about how the day was going to go. Confused, I responded, what do you mean? He then went on to say that they had two inches of snow on the ground and that the fog was so thick that they couldn't even see the trees at the back of the yard.
Then I started laughing...I couldn't help it. From my perspective, they should have been enjoying the same sunrise I was, and from their perspective, I should have been enjoying the same foggy gloom they were. Yet...our perceptions were just that...perceptions of the others reality and both incorrect.
Lesson? Perceptions are not the same thing as reality. Perceptions are only the lens with which we anticipate someones reality but it doesn't make it true. I'm grateful for these very vivid reminders that they are not the same thing.
I think about how the Lord must view this principle that he is all too familiar with. He sees all the things that I can't see. He knows where I've been and what is yet to be. He knows what's around the corner, the riverbend and the next hill. He sees all the pieces of the plan in one and as one.
Elder Maxwell once said, "It is that you must not mistake passing local cloud cover for general darkness. They are very different things, and for us to misinterpret local cloud cover, which will soon be blown away, as general darkness is a terrible thing. The restored gospel is so full metaphorically of light. We must not be mistaken about this."
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
week 3: blank space
Needless to say, it was a crazy week. Everything worked out though. Including running a meeting Thursday which was interrupted with phone calls of people needing to get in my house. Fortunately, I have the nicest mom and siblings and understanding co-workers who helped make it all work out.
By the time Friday rolled around, I went to work, went to the wood connection (because priorities/sanity is in the right place!) and went home and worked on my craft project. Then I went and picked up AnnMarie and went to Provo! Obviously the best drive on a Friday night! Traffic wasn't too terrible. It was so fun to chat and catch up and see friend Joni! We had a delightful evening eating yummy food and chatting. Driving home from Provo late at night got me to thinking of just how many times I have made that drive from Provo north. I thought of all the wonderful memories of college and my grandparents and great-grandparents in Provo. I thought of all the family heritage I have in Provo. I'm so grateful for that funny college town and the experience of my years there as a student.
Saturday was a clean out day at Grandpa's house. A never-ending project. But also a "never can the whole family attend clean out day" again. Too many people. Too many emotional attachments. Too much stuff. Fortunately, this year I have a house to put stuff in so that's fun! The favorite things I came home with were a gum ball machine (the gum is as old as i am), a beautiful geode, some milk glass and tulips...but they were from my parents. Saturday night I went to a party with some coworkers. It was so fun! When we left, we drove home in a snowstorm! That was eventful! I called and thanked my parents for the snow tires they put on my car at the beginning of the winter. I wouldn't have made it home without them.
Sunday was lovely. We started new songs in choir and one of them is my MOST favorite song! Jesus, Lover of my Soul/Jesus, Savior Pilot Me! In my first area on my mission, we practiced this song in branch choir every week for almost the entire time I was there. We finally sang it a few weeks before I left the area. I took to searching the internet for it and now my ward is going to sing it in February! I'm so excited! :) I LOVE it! Sunday night I went home for dinner with the family. I have the best family!
And that was the wrap to an interesting week!
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
week 2.5: emergency preparedness
This one warranted a mid-week post.
Yesterday I went to turn on my faucet and no water came out. Not even a drop. Strange.
So, I checked additional faucets, they didn't work either. So...I wandered outside to my neighbors to see if their water wasn't working too. 3 doors later, no one was home. What next? Well then I went downstairs to check my water and investigate my utility room. I walked down the stairs, turned the corner, hit the laundry room and simultaneously hit wet feet. Soaked feet. The hall? Soaked. The utility room (fortunately concrete)? Soaked. The spare bedroom? SOAKED. The closet in the spare bedroom? Also soaked. I think my first thought was...wow, for the first time in my life...this is MY problem. Welcome to home ownership. Wah-wah-wah...
So like any girl in distress? I called my dad. I don't even know how our conversation went down, I can't remember. Its all a blur. But it ended in the fact that I needed to talk to a neighbor or someone in my HOA. Problem? I have been a terrible neighbor and don't really know any of them! The ones I've known recently moved, and I know I have a neighborhood contact list somewhere but I couldn't find it. So I called the only other people whose contact info I had, the sweet couple who lives at the far end of the street. I've never been so grateful for a sweet "Well hello Erin" response on the other end of the line. I told them I wished it had been a happier call but that I was in a bit of a moment of crisis. I told them what had happened and they said they'd come right over and check it out with me.
And so, five minutes later, they were at my door. And with dinner. Before long, we had determined it was likely coming from my neighbors house and seeping through the walls. Then began the night and the parade of people and vacuums. The water boots and the shop-vacs. I met neighbors I'd only waved at. I programmed numbers into my phone. I facebook stalked people to try to figure out how to get in the neighbors house. I entertained the neighbors children. I pulled carpet, ripped up padding, vacuumed water with the help of my neighbors, dad, a friend from the ward and my roommate. My neighbor two doors down just started working on getting me water unannounced to me. He ran a hose from his house to my house. Told my dad what adaptor I needed from home depot after he called a few people to see if they happened to have one.
At the end of the day, the wet carpet was out, the water was mostly gone, the fan was going (and is still going and will be going for a long while), I had running water in my house (thanks to my neighbor since I have no water coming to my house from the usual line) and I had met a lot of my neighbors!
Lessons learned:
Yesterday I went to turn on my faucet and no water came out. Not even a drop. Strange.
So, I checked additional faucets, they didn't work either. So...I wandered outside to my neighbors to see if their water wasn't working too. 3 doors later, no one was home. What next? Well then I went downstairs to check my water and investigate my utility room. I walked down the stairs, turned the corner, hit the laundry room and simultaneously hit wet feet. Soaked feet. The hall? Soaked. The utility room (fortunately concrete)? Soaked. The spare bedroom? SOAKED. The closet in the spare bedroom? Also soaked. I think my first thought was...wow, for the first time in my life...this is MY problem. Welcome to home ownership. Wah-wah-wah...
So like any girl in distress? I called my dad. I don't even know how our conversation went down, I can't remember. Its all a blur. But it ended in the fact that I needed to talk to a neighbor or someone in my HOA. Problem? I have been a terrible neighbor and don't really know any of them! The ones I've known recently moved, and I know I have a neighborhood contact list somewhere but I couldn't find it. So I called the only other people whose contact info I had, the sweet couple who lives at the far end of the street. I've never been so grateful for a sweet "Well hello Erin" response on the other end of the line. I told them I wished it had been a happier call but that I was in a bit of a moment of crisis. I told them what had happened and they said they'd come right over and check it out with me.
And so, five minutes later, they were at my door. And with dinner. Before long, we had determined it was likely coming from my neighbors house and seeping through the walls. Then began the night and the parade of people and vacuums. The water boots and the shop-vacs. I met neighbors I'd only waved at. I programmed numbers into my phone. I facebook stalked people to try to figure out how to get in the neighbors house. I entertained the neighbors children. I pulled carpet, ripped up padding, vacuumed water with the help of my neighbors, dad, a friend from the ward and my roommate. My neighbor two doors down just started working on getting me water unannounced to me. He ran a hose from his house to my house. Told my dad what adaptor I needed from home depot after he called a few people to see if they happened to have one.
At the end of the day, the wet carpet was out, the water was mostly gone, the fan was going (and is still going and will be going for a long while), I had running water in my house (thanks to my neighbor since I have no water coming to my house from the usual line) and I had met a lot of my neighbors!
Lessons learned:
- never take water for granted
- don't put off washing your hair
- don't put off doing laundry or washing dishes
- know your neighbors
- put your neighbors numbers in your phone
- own a shopvac
- rubber boots were a good investment (for outside puddles and inside puddles alike)
- the impression to buy water--was a good one to heed
Monday, January 18, 2016
week 2: reminders about forgiveness
It's easy to peg people as "this kind of person" or "that kind of person." I'm guilty of this all the time. I rely on my own perceptions or even worse, other's perceptions on situations, people or personalities that I don't even know well myself or with whom I have had limited interactions.
Yesterday, I was reminded of a situation in my life in which I haven't really been able to let someone become anyone but the thoughtless, heartless person I had pegged them as after a poor interaction which led to significant family challenges including family members being forced to distance themselves from our church congregation. You see, for my brother, all it takes is one poor interaction and he doesn't really recover from it. He can't recover from it. (Not won't.) That's autism for you.
Anyway, as I listened to the brethren via satellite broadcast talk of sabbath day observance, Elder Cook (or maybe it was Elder Bednar) who said, we have to be particularly mindful of those who may, for whatever reason be in the foyer. Deacons must make sure that those in the foyer have the opportunity to partake of the sacrament as well. In that instant, my eyes welled up with tears. This was the precise situation which had made it so Craig could no longer attend our singles ward, he was told that he needed to be in the chapel to receive the sacrament, not in the foyer.
The first thing I felt was compassion. Compassion from a Heavenly Father who knows no boundaries but our own distance from unrepentant sin. Compassion that He knew the situation perfectly. That He loved by brother with all his won'ts and can'ts and wills and cans. The second thing I felt was sadness. Sadness that this hadn't been understood more compassionately by my local leaders and sadness that the ordinance of the sacrament isn't available to my brother (there's more to this story but it involves more careless comments). The third thing I felt was sadness for myself that I hadn't quite gotten over it as fully as I had thought I had. There was still room for more repentance, more forgiveness, more divine intervention.
In Sunday School yesterday we talked of Lehi's dream. Lehi's dream has long been one of my most favorite stories in the scriptures. I can always find myself in Lehi's dream and it's always a good self-assessment story. One member of the class commented that all the people, everyone had to pass through the mists of darkness which symbolize the temptations of the adversary, on their way to the tree of life. Isn't that true for each of us. We are here on a mortal sojourn back to the tree, back home to gain eternal life with God. But we too must pass through mists of darkness and continually hold to the rod of iron. We can get lost, our perception of the things that matter and those things that don't can get warped. We can get confused. We can focus too much on the wrong things. We can get stuck in only seeing somethings in a particular way. Mists can blind us physically and spiritually. I'm so grateful that God can help us see through the mist. He provides the rod of iron. He helps us discern the mist and recognize it for what it is and help us know where it is that we must turn for help, support and guidance.
2016 is all about course corrections. It's intentionally seeing things the way they are and intentionally acting to be more consistent with the things that I know. I'm not perfect. I fall short. I stumble. But I know that nothing compares to the strength available through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. With him, course corrections are always possible!
Saturday, January 9, 2016
week 1: the intention fail
One of my goals this year is to write more.
I used to be a religious journal writer, then grad school happened and I've never really jumped on the bandwagon again. Its not the first time I've mentioned this here, and yes, technically this is a written record but not a good one, and not a complete one. However, if someone really wanted to compile my life...its there, just in fragments of planners and journals, blogs and study books. Alas...
One year, I broke it down week by week and this year, I want to do the same. Even if I can just post once a week, its better than nothing.
Lessons of the week--
1. Vertigo is bad but having PT friends who know vestibular and balance is good. Somehow, I acquired the condition of a 50+ year old and had loose inner ear crystals running amok in my semi-circular canals. It was rough. But then dear Joann fixed it! I am forever grateful and am grateful that I am not always as nauseated as it made me feel for 5 out of the last 7 days.
2. I get an eye twitch when I'm real nervous and when I'm sleep deprived its worse. Fortunately, I think I'm the only one who can see it; however, I feel really awkward.
3. If one can make friends with the security guard, one can park on any level they want! The security guard told me twice this week that I could park on the second floor! Not that it really matters which floor I park on... :)
4. I should always park in the same place in City Creek. Otherwise, I will invariably spend a lot of time trying to remember the first view I had when I came up the elevator.
5. I know nothing about chocolate but I did taste some of the best in the world this week! And delicious balsamic vinegar and sipping vinegars. Now, if only I had time to cook with it all!
6. I can talk about child language for a really long time.
7. I love feeding disorders and am so impressed by my incredible staff and their knowledge and skills.
8. I have mission ptsd from getting bit by a dog and a close encounter with a scary dog the same day...large dogs running toward me will cause me to look really really panicked. And I don't feel bad about it.
9. I think I've learned to say no even when I really want to say yes and vice versa. Because that's not confusing.
10. I've conquered some fears this week. Fear of failure. Fear of judgement. Fear of being perceived incorrectly. Fear of crushing egg shells. Fear of asking for help. Now these aren't permanent conquerings but every step counts.
__________________
At the end of the week, I haven't been as intentional as I'd like to be. But I have found consistency in habits I haven't been consistent in before. I've been more forgiving of my own short comings and my "new years resolutions" that haven't gone as perfect as I'd dreamed. I choose to intentionally fail and to intentionally try again tomorrow and the next day and every day thereafter.
I used to be a religious journal writer, then grad school happened and I've never really jumped on the bandwagon again. Its not the first time I've mentioned this here, and yes, technically this is a written record but not a good one, and not a complete one. However, if someone really wanted to compile my life...its there, just in fragments of planners and journals, blogs and study books. Alas...
One year, I broke it down week by week and this year, I want to do the same. Even if I can just post once a week, its better than nothing.
Lessons of the week--
1. Vertigo is bad but having PT friends who know vestibular and balance is good. Somehow, I acquired the condition of a 50+ year old and had loose inner ear crystals running amok in my semi-circular canals. It was rough. But then dear Joann fixed it! I am forever grateful and am grateful that I am not always as nauseated as it made me feel for 5 out of the last 7 days.
2. I get an eye twitch when I'm real nervous and when I'm sleep deprived its worse. Fortunately, I think I'm the only one who can see it; however, I feel really awkward.
3. If one can make friends with the security guard, one can park on any level they want! The security guard told me twice this week that I could park on the second floor! Not that it really matters which floor I park on... :)
4. I should always park in the same place in City Creek. Otherwise, I will invariably spend a lot of time trying to remember the first view I had when I came up the elevator.
5. I know nothing about chocolate but I did taste some of the best in the world this week! And delicious balsamic vinegar and sipping vinegars. Now, if only I had time to cook with it all!
6. I can talk about child language for a really long time.
7. I love feeding disorders and am so impressed by my incredible staff and their knowledge and skills.
8. I have mission ptsd from getting bit by a dog and a close encounter with a scary dog the same day...large dogs running toward me will cause me to look really really panicked. And I don't feel bad about it.
9. I think I've learned to say no even when I really want to say yes and vice versa. Because that's not confusing.
10. I've conquered some fears this week. Fear of failure. Fear of judgement. Fear of being perceived incorrectly. Fear of crushing egg shells. Fear of asking for help. Now these aren't permanent conquerings but every step counts.
__________________
At the end of the week, I haven't been as intentional as I'd like to be. But I have found consistency in habits I haven't been consistent in before. I've been more forgiving of my own short comings and my "new years resolutions" that haven't gone as perfect as I'd dreamed. I choose to intentionally fail and to intentionally try again tomorrow and the next day and every day thereafter.
Wednesday, January 6, 2016
general conference: now is the time to serve a mission!
Now is the Time to Serve a Mission!, Elder Richard G Scott
Earlier this year (so you know, 6 days or so ago) I got thinking how much I miss knowing conference as well as I did on my mission. As a missionary, I knew who said what, what they talked about and could quote things from conference and I loved it. I want to be able to do that again!
So, I've decided to share some of my favorite conference talks, the ones that have made a particular impression or ones that have stuck with me for one reason or another. I also want to write more about what I learn from current conference talks.
I'm starting with one of the most influential talks I'd ever heard at conference up to this point in my life. In April 2006 I was just finishing up my freshman year at BYU. I'd learned a lot about hard work, learning to live independently, learning to be my own person, to stand up for myself, to speak up and to forgive. I'd learned a lot about being brave and working hard. I'd learned a lot about love and failure and God. I'd learned about the gospel, about friendship and about the real value of failing at something despite great effort. Needless to say, I was also very jealous at this time that guys my age were on missions and I was stuck home going through a really challenging first year of college when really I just wanted to be on a mission too. It wouldn't be until 2 years later that I would make the decision to serve but this talk set me on a course of preparation.
The line from this talk that I still remember today is this: You will never regret serving a mission, but you most probably will regret not serving if that is your choice.
Isn't that so powerful?
There is so much wisdom in this statement that applies to my life even today in regards to regrets and opportunities.
Elder Scott changed my life for good that day. And the Spirit began to work on the desires of my heart more than ever before. I know that what Elder Scott said is true. I have never ever regretted my decision to serve the Lord as a missionary. My mission wasn't perfect, in fact it and grad school are fairly tied in terms of the most trying times of my life. It was the experiences I had as a missionary that make me reflect back and say...Erin, you did that...you can do this. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of a person, a place or an experience that I had, or all three. It has influenced my life in every way for the better. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knew that "now" was the time to prepare for a mission.
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