To write again

I have this friend who always asks me, "What have you learned lately?" 

At first the question took me off guard and to be honest, it still takes me off guard, even though I know it will come up in the course of our conversation. I love it though because it makes me actually process and reflect on what I have learned lately. 

Learning happens in a lot of ways. Sometimes it is a process we are acutely aware of. For example, I remember learning times tables in 3rd grade. I was aware of it because they were hard for me and we had quizzes on them every single day. There was a chart on the wall that tracked each persons progress, how many they'd memorized and which ones they were still working on. It was easy to realize what I was learning because of the homework, tests, and discussion that accompanied the subject. 

Today learning doesn't happen much in an academic setting for me. Years of school and college are in the past and while I occasionally love taking up a new hobby by signing up for a class or a lesson of some sort, learning is much more broad. One of my goals for the year is to learn to cook Indian food. I'm trying better to understand the spices and how they work together. Sure there are things I'm learning at work such as researching infant feeding and cognitive rehabilitation. Other things I learn at work include understanding how to read financial reports with funny acronyms or which computer program I need to open in order to do a certain ask. Sometimes, spiritually I'm studying certain subjects such as "charity" or "faith." These aren't all the things I'm learning though and honestly, I'm not convinced this type of learning is the most important. 

What are the things I'm learning in life? The lessons? What connections am I making between the experiences, impressions, and structured learning I'm having? This to me is the learning that is of most value. These are the kinds of answers I want to have when my friend asks me what I have been learning lately. When I intentionally and deliberately take the time to ponder this question, I find myself recognizing things I've learned. I've learned about being kind. I've learned about being myself and that there is a level of true joy that happens when I'm vulnerable with other people and lay it out on the line. I've learned why I really go to church...that I go because of the ordinances I participate in and the covenants that I renew through those ordinances. I don't go to be spiritually uplifted as a top 3 reason. (More on that one later.) I've learned that it's possible to see people with new eyes. I've learned more about being content on the journey that I'm on. And I'm learning more about true sources and mindsets that allow us to feel joy. 

Something that has persisted in my mind the past couple weeks is doing things because I want to do them, for me, not for other people. It seemed to be at opposition with how I wanted to be spending my time. For example, I should spend time writing because it would benefit others but I'm realizing that I should spend time writing because it benefits myself and if it so happens to benefit the life of another...well then that's a good byproduct of the time. I've been trying to settle this in my mind for a few weeks now and today the impression came again, that I needed to spend more time writing. 

In what manner should I write? I realized that I didn't think it was the point. I think the point, as I currently understand it is that there is a level of learning for me that happens as I write and as I process. Since I currently live alone, I don't have anyone physically present to process with. I process a lot of things in my thoughts and in prayer but I think there is some sort of a calculated path that is processed when thoughts are recorded into words and words are then reviewed and read at times when we need them later. They can help us as we look back to see connections to path we didn't realize we were on until we got further down the path and then looked back. Sometimes I am reticent to commit words to, well anywhere and I'm afraid that the older I have gotten the more fearful I have become because I fear being judged for my words, my thoughts and my opinions. But then, I thought about how learning is a process. And how what I write, my opinions may change and by golly they should change. They better change. As I learn and grow I want to have different thoughts and opinions because I have different knowledge and understanding. That's a good thing! That's a great thing! And so, here we are...back to the 'ole blog which, is a forum in which I like writing. Not that many if any ever read what gets posted here...but I do. I go back and read and look for the things I've learned in the past. I enjoy having a place to post pictures that support the things I'm learning and writing. So here we are again. To write again.