"Yesterday was plain awful. You can say that again."

This has been me.

On repeat.

For a week and then some.

I've been Erin the grumpy and I've probably met my tears quota for the year in the past couple weeks. I have an abscessed tooth. My third to be exact. Long sad story including all the things that make people cringe like bad dentistry, improper drilling of cavities, and worst of all, it ends up with me needing a root canal. Like I told my mom...it wouldn't be so terrible if I was old, but I'm not that old.

Anyway, since getting on an antibiotic and a strict routine of pharmaceuticals to help with the pain, I've been better but the tears are still close to the surface which tells me that my body is still experiencing pain. It's just being covered up by the medicine. Interesting how your body still knows. 

Needless to say, it's been a long week and a long weekend. While yesterday it's self was actually fine, today I have rotated around my parents house from one bed to another. Laying, loafing, crying, napping, watching sappy hallmark movies (thinking: this is not real life! but I wish it was!), cross stitching, and occasionally eating some "soft food." Yes, I think I'm on an NDD2 diet with thin liquids (room temperature). It's been such a blessing to be at home though. There's something about having your mom around to take care of you that makes everything a little bit better. Or a lot bit. 

Point of the story is...I take advantage of all the days that I wake up feeling perfectly fine. I don't want to take advantage of those days. I want to appreciate the ability to go up and down the stairs without searing pain in my sinuses. I want to appreciate that I can run around my house with lots of energy at the end of a long work day and not come home and crawl in bed because that's all I have left in me. I want to appreciate that I can eat and drink with only occasional penetration (SLP here!) which I'm able to clear with a good strong cough. I want to appreciate the endurance I have as I eat food because I can chew food with both sides of my mouth and because I have teeth. I want to be amazed at what baseline feels like for me every single day. 

I work with patients who had that and then they had some event happen, usually involving some trauma of some sort which leaves them distanced from their baseline of health and functioning. Some gain it back, others don't. It's not something we can afford to take advantage of. This experience has reminded me of that. I hope I can learn that lesson and retain a remembrance of it.