Today my thoughts have centered around past decisions I have made and upcoming decisions I have yet to make.
As I've thought about how I am going to make the next set of major decisions in my life, I turned to my file of favorite talks. The talk that jumped out at me was, "Discerning the Will of the Lord for Me" by LaNae Valentine. My dear friend Carly gave a copy of this talk to me back in the day when I was trying to decide where I was going to go to college. I was so glad for the things I learned back then, and I'm grateful for the things I continued to learn as I read this BYU devotional address again today. (All the quotes, are from this AMAZING BYU devotional given 29 June 2004.)
Okay, so...[some] kinds of choices are easy: What brand of cereal should I buy? What color of pants should I wear? Who should I ask out this weekend? Should I watch TV or read the scriptures? Should I go to Relief Society or go shopping? But what about those more difficult choices: Where should I go to college? What should I study? What should my profession be? Should I go to graduate school? Which job offer should I take? Where should I live? Whom should I marry?
In my copy of the talk, I had underlined the questions I was most concerned with when I read this talk back in 2005 (see italicized). I survived those questions, and the question regarding graduate school. But now...I'm on to the next 2 questions.
"Which job offer should I take?"
AND
"Where should I live?"
While I don't have any job offers yet, I'm going to apply for some jobs soon. And I really need to decide where I'm going to live and what population I want to work with.
And so,
...
When it comes to big decisions, you don’t want to make a mistake. Sometimes I have wondered why the Lord doesn’t just tell us what to do concerning the big things. The answer is simple: If we are going to become as God is, we will have to learn to make decisions—even decisions of great importance—on our own initiative.
...
Elder Bruce R. McConkie notes,
And so we’re faced with two propositions. One is that we ought to be guided by the spirit of inspiration, the spirit of revelation. The other is that we’re here under a direction to use our agency, to determine what we ought to do on our own; and we need to strike a fine balance between these two. . . .There’s a fine balance between agency and inspiration. We’re expected to do everything in our power and then to seek an answer from the Lord, a confirming seal that we’ve reached the right conclusion. [Bruce R. McConkie, “Agency or Inspiration?” New Era, January 1975, 39, 41]
And so we’re faced with two propositions. One is that we ought to be guided by the spirit of inspiration, the spirit of revelation. The other is that we’re here under a direction to use our agency, to determine what we ought to do on our own; and we need to strike a fine balance between these two. . . .There’s a fine balance between agency and inspiration. We’re expected to do everything in our power and then to seek an answer from the Lord, a confirming seal that we’ve reached the right conclusion. [Bruce R. McConkie, “Agency or Inspiration?” New Era, January 1975, 39, 41]
Even though this process seems quite clear, I have struggled with striking this balance between agency and inspiration. At one extreme, I have felt that the Lord has more important things to do than listen to my concerns. This attitude has at times fostered a spirit of pride and a propensity to not seek His input at all and to just do things my own way. On the other extreme sometimes I have been paralyzed into inaction, unwilling to do anything without an answer from the heavens. How can we avoid relying too much on our intellectual powers while ignoring the Spirit, or expecting spiritual solutions while ignoring our own power to reason things out for ourselves?
President Marion G. Romney described how he has found this balance:
When confronted with a problem I prayerfully weigh in my mind alternative solutions and come to a conclusion as to which of them is best. Then in prayer I submit to the Lord my problem, tell him I desire to make the right choice, [and] what is, in my judgment, the right course. Then I ask him if I have made the right decision to give me the burning in my bosom that He promised Oliver Cowdery. When enlightenment and peace come into my mind, I know the Lord is saying yes. If I have a “stupor of thought,” I know he is saying no, and I try again, following the same procedure. When we learn to distinguish between the inspiration that comes from the Spirit of the Lord and that which comes from our own uninspired hopes and desires, we need make no mistakes. [Marion G. Romney, “Q&A: Questions and Answers,” New Era, October 1975, p. 35]
President Marion G. Romney described how he has found this balance:
When confronted with a problem I prayerfully weigh in my mind alternative solutions and come to a conclusion as to which of them is best. Then in prayer I submit to the Lord my problem, tell him I desire to make the right choice, [and] what is, in my judgment, the right course. Then I ask him if I have made the right decision to give me the burning in my bosom that He promised Oliver Cowdery. When enlightenment and peace come into my mind, I know the Lord is saying yes. If I have a “stupor of thought,” I know he is saying no, and I try again, following the same procedure. When we learn to distinguish between the inspiration that comes from the Spirit of the Lord and that which comes from our own uninspired hopes and desires, we need make no mistakes. [Marion G. Romney, “Q&A: Questions and Answers,” New Era, October 1975, p. 35]
...
How do we discern the burning in the bosom from the stupor of thought? What is a stupor of thought? Sometimes I feel like I’m always in a stupor of thought. I looked up the word stupor in the dictionary and found the descriptions a “dazed state, a . . . lack of mental alertness” (Encarta World English Dictionary, s.v. “stupor”). Other descriptors are sluggish, numbness, absence of the ability to move or feel, apathy, languidness, dullness, or not feeling inspired to go forward. I was struck by the depressive mood created by all of these words. There is nothing inspiring, exciting, or comforting about any of them.
Contrast the stupor descriptors with words describing the Spirit: enlightens, enlivens, quickens, enlarges, expands, purifies, inspires, fills the soul with light, peace, love, clarity, and joy (see Parley P. Pratt, Key to the Science of Theology, 9th ed. [1965], 101). Other descriptors of how the Spirit confirms our course are “much assurance,” “peace to your mind,” “confidence wax strong,” and “feel that it is right.”
Even though we must all learn how the Spirit speaks to us individually, I found these descriptions to be helpful in making righteous choices. Growing in our ability to receive revelation is like learning a new language or learning to play a musical instrument. We must practice diligently for a long time before we feel comfortable with it. We must be patient with ourselves, recognize that we might have some setbacks, and persist until we become masters at recognizing a witness of the Spirit.
Contrast the stupor descriptors with words describing the Spirit: enlightens, enlivens, quickens, enlarges, expands, purifies, inspires, fills the soul with light, peace, love, clarity, and joy (see Parley P. Pratt, Key to the Science of Theology, 9th ed. [1965], 101). Other descriptors of how the Spirit confirms our course are “much assurance,” “peace to your mind,” “confidence wax strong,” and “feel that it is right.”
Even though we must all learn how the Spirit speaks to us individually, I found these descriptions to be helpful in making righteous choices. Growing in our ability to receive revelation is like learning a new language or learning to play a musical instrument. We must practice diligently for a long time before we feel comfortable with it. We must be patient with ourselves, recognize that we might have some setbacks, and persist until we become masters at recognizing a witness of the Spirit.
...
(Sister Valentine then goes on to discuss 6 barriers that might interfere with our ability to receive personal revelation. Today number 2 spoke to my soul)
...
2. We haven’t learned how to listen.
In his book The Lost Art of Listening, Michael Nichols states, “True listening has become a rarity in modern life.” We live in a noisy, busy, hurried world and rarely take the time to listen. He notes that listening is so basic that many of us take it for granted and think we’re better listeners than we really are. In reality most of us hear only what we want to hear or what we have trained our minds to hear. He notes that good listening takes effort and can be achieved only by suspending our preoccupation with ourselves and with our needs (Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening [New York: The Guilford Press, 1995]).
When it comes to communicating with the Lord, these obstacles to listening can be difficult to surmount. After we have studied, pondered, and prayed, we must listen carefully to our Heavenly Father or we will miss His answers. Elder Boyd K. Packer notes, “The voice of the Spirit is a still, small voice—a voice that is felt rather than heard” (Boyd K. Packer, “The Cloven Tongues of Fire,” Ensign, May 2000, 8). If we are not in a quiet, still place when we approach Him, we might not hear or feel His answers. That quiet, still place must extend to our state of mind. The Spirit has difficulty impressing a busy, racing, anxious mind. More often than not, whisperings of the Spirit will go unheard if we are too busy to listen.
In addition, we live in a time when many of us turn to addictive substances and behaviors such as television, shopping, eating, computer games, surfing the Internet, and busyness for comfort and avoidance from the problems and stressors of life. These habits can desensitize us and deaden our sensibilities to the promptings and feelings of the Spirit. Plus, much of our modern day entertainment with its increase in stimulation, gratification, and indulgence is offensive to the Spirit.
We each could ask ourselves: What could I turn off, turn down, or tune out in order to hear the voice of the Spirit in my life? Am I doing anything in my life that is offensive to the Spirit and preventing the Holy Ghost from being my constant companion? Is there anything I could eliminate from my busy life so that I would have more time to be still, to study scriptures, ponder, and pray?
In his book The Lost Art of Listening, Michael Nichols states, “True listening has become a rarity in modern life.” We live in a noisy, busy, hurried world and rarely take the time to listen. He notes that listening is so basic that many of us take it for granted and think we’re better listeners than we really are. In reality most of us hear only what we want to hear or what we have trained our minds to hear. He notes that good listening takes effort and can be achieved only by suspending our preoccupation with ourselves and with our needs (Michael P. Nichols, The Lost Art of Listening [New York: The Guilford Press, 1995]).
When it comes to communicating with the Lord, these obstacles to listening can be difficult to surmount. After we have studied, pondered, and prayed, we must listen carefully to our Heavenly Father or we will miss His answers. Elder Boyd K. Packer notes, “The voice of the Spirit is a still, small voice—a voice that is felt rather than heard” (Boyd K. Packer, “The Cloven Tongues of Fire,” Ensign, May 2000, 8). If we are not in a quiet, still place when we approach Him, we might not hear or feel His answers. That quiet, still place must extend to our state of mind. The Spirit has difficulty impressing a busy, racing, anxious mind. More often than not, whisperings of the Spirit will go unheard if we are too busy to listen.
In addition, we live in a time when many of us turn to addictive substances and behaviors such as television, shopping, eating, computer games, surfing the Internet, and busyness for comfort and avoidance from the problems and stressors of life. These habits can desensitize us and deaden our sensibilities to the promptings and feelings of the Spirit. Plus, much of our modern day entertainment with its increase in stimulation, gratification, and indulgence is offensive to the Spirit.
We each could ask ourselves: What could I turn off, turn down, or tune out in order to hear the voice of the Spirit in my life? Am I doing anything in my life that is offensive to the Spirit and preventing the Holy Ghost from being my constant companion? Is there anything I could eliminate from my busy life so that I would have more time to be still, to study scriptures, ponder, and pray?
...
After reading this section, I recognized that since January, I have been more "run here, run there" than ever before. Grad school has been full of "busy" but I was better at making quiet moments count. These moments included: time to time "quiet drives" to or from school with no radio or phone calls, quiet journal/scripture time, and regular trips to the temple. Recently, I seem to have "given up/given away" my quiet times. The times when I could be listening to what the Lord has to teach me. And so, today I am asking myself, "What could I turn off, turn down, or tune out in order to hear the voice of the Spirit in my life?" and "Is there anything I could eliminate from my busy life so that I would have more time to be still, to study scriptures, ponder and pray?
Since reading number 2, I have yet to make it to the others, but this has given me something to think about and reason to change.
Yesterday in Stake Conference, Elder Nash of the Quorum of the Seventy explained that the spirituality of human beings is like a sine wave. A horizontal line through that sine wave signifies the level to which we feel compelled to "do" something because of what we know (in my words, change behaviors match our feelings). Then he said, hopefully as LDS members, who keep covenants, our sine wave is progressing up as we are edified and lifted by the Spirit. It still goes up and down but it is moving in an overall upward direction.
As we respond to the Spirit to make proper decisions in the way, fashion and manner that the Lord would have us do, I know that all things work together for our good. I can receive the revelation I need to make decisions regarding my life...big decisions or small decisions, the Lord is there and he cares.
Thanks for posting this, Erin. I really needed to read this :) Love ya!
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