shadow proves the sunshine
sacred grove, palmyra new york
july 2010
I'm really good at holding on to things. Rocks I picked up in Montana 20 years ago, a set of stamps I bought when I was 8, notes from friends I received in the first grade, pennies I sent through the penny smasher in Yellowstone when I was some single digit age. If I've been holding on to that stuff for so long, you can only imagine all the things I've held onto since then. You've got the picture right?
Well, this week I had a break through. Okay, maybe it was only half a breakthrough, probably not even that. I realized that it takes me such a fraction of the time that it used to to let hurtful things go. Events of the week played out a perfect stage for disappointment. I always have high hopes that someone, anyone will step up to the plate and that things will 'turn out different this time.' I am always disappointed and this time proved no different. Don't get me wrong, somehow I convince myself to be extremely optimistic about the situation every time but alas things turn out being all too familiar and again I am crushed. But I'm crushed a lot less permanently and resiliency springs into play. Really, it's forgiveness first and resiliency second. We all make choices and we can all learn from the choices we make and we can choose to make better choices in the future. Of this I am certain and continually hopeful.
If I haven't lost you, well then consider yourself lucky because I might have lost myself at this point. You see, I see no good in playing out specifics because a time will come when I'll read this and go...hum I wonder what that situation was? I don't know but I'm glad I learned something from it. If the specifics were here, then I'd read it and be hurt all over again. I know myself that well.
Back to the resiliency concept for a moment though...it's a word we don't hear too often. And yet, this week I've heard it twice. In the Ensign Magazine that arrived today there was an article on Raising Resilient Children, and what great suggestions and experiences are shared to help facilitate it and if not facilitate at least get us starting to think about it. The other moment I heard about it was in a research study whose population was families of children with autism and down syndrome. It was a study comparing parents of both. I'm not a parent of both but a sibling of both. As I read the research article, it struck a cord with me. We are forced to either crumble or be resilient, especially in times of trial. I'm not sure how my parents taught me to be resilient but they did and I'm currently working to figure out how they did such a good job. Probably because they themselves are the best examples of this term. The ability to spring back into shape after bending and compression...that's resiliency and that is a skill we all need.
And so, here's to letting things go. Here's to saying to ourselves choose the higher road, forgive and move forward. Act, don't just be acted upon. Here's to brighter tomorrows that are full of hope. Really though, it comes back to this..."All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ." (quoted from Preach My Gospel: A Guide to Missionary Service). That's really the source of being able to get through tough times, whatever they may be. Its also the source that enables me and helps me to let go of things that really don't matter and focus on the things that really do.
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